Cocoon

A few days ago, I managed to accidentally break my cat's food bowl by kicking it against the wall.(this is some introduction to this post !)
But anyway, I had to buy a new bowl for my cat and this time I bought a plastic purple bowl and I brought it home, happily replacing the old one and I also placed fresh food into the new one, so that my cat knew it was meant for her and her food.
Surprisingly she got scared of the bowl, started smelling it and hitting it with the right front paw and refused the whole day to eat from it... Gradually I was starting to feel nervous, fearing that my cat will not like the bowl and will refuse to eat and as much as I was trying to show her that the food bowl was OK and it was for her, she was running away from it and I was feeling more angry.
I know it sounds funny, but while doing this whole thing, I was starting to panic and the thought of "I should have kept the old bowl" even crossed my mind... So I was nervous and agitated because my cat was afraid of her new bowl and she was refusing to eat out of it; and also because I was feeling helpless in showing her that the new bowl was very much OK.
But as I was starting to feel all these things, a question came out of nowhere and crossed my mind:"Why are you behaving like this?" and I instantly understood that it was not my cat alone who was feeling nervous and agitated, but I was as well... fact is, I was transferring my feelings to my cat and she was feeling them and reacting in the same way as I: restless, panicked, insecure...
I immediately understood that the way my cat was acting was the way I was manifesting within.
So I just stopped, I went back to the table, started writing (what I was doing before) and I allowed myself to calm down, allowing my cat as well to calm down...
I told myself: "It's OK, I will let her see what is all about and eventually she will eat from the bowl." Of course, this is what happened. Within less than 5 minutes, my cat was eating from her new bowl and I was calm and happy.

What I understood? I understood that I still have an issue when it comes to attachments and new things/elements happening in my life... I still have a clumsy way of welcoming the NEW into my life... though my inner core is melting in desire for the NEW, the insecurity which spreads around the core kills this desire... or it manages to somehow deflate the enthusiasm.
Therefore, I understand I should try and greet the NEW more openly, but to do so I will have to change more my inner structure. :) (and I am on my way)

Lately I've been feeling more like listening, reading and writing than like talking...
I'm not so much in mood for talking, I guess I am in some sort of cocoon state.
My dreams have also become very intense, real and long... I am yet to write about a dream I had :) I think it was one of the most amazing dreams I ever had, seemed so real that it scared me when I woke up... I guess we do not exist just here after all...
And I still am in love, it's just that I have this bitterness inside with which I have to deal...