Upanishada - from the heart & for the heart

Never mind the rest

2012-01-11T23:55:00.001+02:00

I'm not better nor less

and even as a mess

I still remain

perfect.

I'm not smart nor dumb

and naive as a lamb

I continue to sacrifice

my self.

I'm passion underneath a shell

inside I grow a burnin' hell

and heart pieces fly

within.

I'm breathless love

pure as a white dove

here for you

as a sign.

I'm a treasure island

with its core - silent.

you should start the quest

never mind the rest...

11.01.2012

by Upanishada

My mantra

2011-12-31T01:28:00.002+02:00

I had moments when I freaked out within - in a quiet, yet chaotic-desperate manner - it was my moment when I had pushed myself into the darkness of my own being and I have to admit I was not understanding much of what was going on. I wanted to run away, delete everything that I had done, felt, experienced, act like it had never been... but the more I was trying to do so, the more I was deepening the wound, the more I was seeing darkness and no light.
And I said: "Fine, I am here now, I have never been here before, but since I am, it must be a reason behind this whole thing".
You know, it's harder to dig in mud, than to dig in hard ground... for the obvious reasons.
I guess I met my personal swamp this year - an interesting sight to observe, but if I had not gone inside it, I would not have understood the reason why I got there in the first place.

You know what makes a friend a real friend? When that person will tell you the most horrible things about you, because he/she loves you; not because he/she hates you... When he/she knows that this is the only way that you can be helped, that person will tell you such things and he/she will encourage you to go in the journey of meeting yourself and your darkest corners.

And you know what? No matter where you go, the journey will eventually have to happen inside yourself - coming home is never a destination, but a state of your soul.

I understood that the way I am is the best way that I can be - moreover, I am the only one who can decide what to change and what not to change about me. This is freedom, in my view.
I realized that words have a positive meaning only when you speak from the heart and from experience... There are no universal truths, everything can be one way and the moment you take it for granted, that very thing can show you a backside which you never imagined it could be there. And it usually hurts you.

I am grateful I could hate myself strong enough to want to love myself.
But I had to see the rubbish, in order to see the gems. It's just the way things work.

And I learnt that what you want from life and what you want to do in life depend only on your wishes, your will to commit, your hard working desire, your ability to understand that the help that you actually need is YOUR help and also to really shift from THEORY to PRACTICE.

I close this year with a smile upon my face, a lot of love in my heart, a lot of faith in myself, with a "to do list" - which I will keep to myself - and with a feeling of gratefulness which I find hard to explain - so I won't. :)

For 2012 this is my mantra: Get Excited and Make Things !

nothing much

2011-12-20T23:24:00.004+02:00

I'm out of words, for now...

The Quartz

2011-12-17T17:56:00.001+02:00

It's said that it is needed some thousand of years for a few millimeters of quartz to grow, therefor the process during which a big crystal of quartz is formed is a very slow one.

It is usually found in a "mine flower" formation and these "flowers" are like a family of crystals, each crystal vibrating and having its own energetic pattern, but which manages to form a harmony with the vibrations of all the other crystals.
These crystals send out energy in a spontaneous way, charging one another.

Also called "The King of Crystals", the crystal quartz is a powerful healer and a great energy amplifier from the face of the Earth.
It manages to purify and energize the energetic layers of the aura and studies (made by using the Kirlian Camera System) have shown that a person who holds in his/her hand a crystal quartz manages to double his/her energy field of the body.

For a general use, this crystal can be used for any purpose, because within itself there is a white light which contains all the other colors.
The quartz is the "salt" of the Earth, being as old as our planet and having the closest element composition to the composition of Mother Earth - it contains silicon dioxide, one of the most common minerals found in the composition of the earth.

The Quartz is a subtle purifier of the soul, combining in a harmonious way the physical and mental dimensions.
It corresponds to the divine flame which is found in every human being, being consciousness crystallized in a material form.
During meditation, the crystal quartz filters out all the disturbing elements and in the mental dimension it manages to enhance memory and betters one's ability to focus.
It stimulates the immune system of the body, bringing balance.
It brings harmony among the chakras and it brings balance within the aura.

Its energy reflects in the same time the past, the present and the future, it is a "hallway" between the physical dimensions and the subtle/spiritual dimensions.
It can be used for a better communication with minerals, plants and animals and it can also help us communicate with higher forms of intelligence outside the physical world, with angelic entities and masters.

It is considered to be a sacred stone and its powers have been known for ages...
In the Orient civilizations, it was considered to be the stone of perfection and of patience, while the Tibetans were using it to heal wounds.

The Quartz is a powerful stone, which has the ability to energize but also purify and charge other stones/crystals.
The physical and the energetic structures of a human being can benefit from its purifying effects. Also the crystal emphasizes the mental abilities of a person and creates a balance between a person and his/her spiritual mission.

It offers energy to the body, neutralizes harmful radiations and is of great help when it comes to health issues of the stomach and of the heart.

Because its vibrations are similar to the ones of a human being, this crystal is of great help in meditation, but, if the crystal deals with an impure person, it may refuse to manifest its healing effects.

The Quratz is extracted from India, Sri Lanka, Kenya, Madagascar, Brasil, USA, Russia, Switzerland and Austria.
In Romania it can be found in Maramureş - here the crystal also being called "the diamonds of Maramureş".

- in the next post I will write about the Pink Quarz -

for the next chapter

2011-12-09T22:02:00.001+02:00

Some days ago, I asked my mother to help me with the clay beads and she agreed.
So I gave her a piece of clay and allowed her to play with it and make beads :) which I will later on color and paint and make necklaces and bracelets out of them.

I realized it made me happy to see my mother get involved in this clay-thing :)) because I could see how focused she was while doing them, but I could see she was also glad to help me.
It's easy to give someone a bit of happiness.

I'm choosing to accept myself and to accept people around me just the way they are.
I'm saying choosing, because it is a process I have to go through, somehow, though I thought it would work differently, I realized that, at least for myself, it is not a change which can happen over night... So, I can say I'm learning to do this. Moreover, I find it easier to accept others than accepting myself (at times)... But I'm here, in this point, so I think it's a good place to be in.

A very dear soul told me one of these days to not take people for granted and I thought about it...
It's not that I wish to do so, but people become so much part of who I am, that I see the situation as being very normal like this... But I, if I think about the idea of "taking for granted" I associate this with not valuing the persons who are in my life and I can honestly say that I do value the people who are part of my life...
I'm not trying to say that I am perfect or that I always act 100% correctly... maybe, sometimes, I do hurt people without even knowing... Maybe I am not fully aware of my acts, thoughts, emotions.
I know I'm also an individual who needs comforting and what not... I've read and I've been told that if I do not love myself, I have no love to offer; if I do not care about myself, I cannot care for others; if I cannot forgive myself, I cannot forgive anyone else and if I cannot value myself, I cannot value anybody else... and I believe it is true... (but I have all these BUTs in my mind)

I feel pain while writing these lines, because I do feel lots of love for so many, for this entire planet (I may sound ridiculous saying this, but I will take the responsibility of these words) and I just feel that maybe sometimes I fail in expressing it clearly... and I regret doing so.

I hope that in this life I will find out who I am for real and what my mission is...
I hope I will give at least 50% of all that I have received from people and this world; and I hope I will give the other 50% to myself - to be a better person, richer in emotions and life experiences... to leave better prepared for the next chapter.

I thank all of you...

I and My Creative Spirit

2011-12-05T15:17:00.001+02:00

It must be because it's December... or maybe not... probably because I haven't been in touch with my creative spirit lately and, therefore, my creative spirit is missing me and I'm missing it.
I have this huge desire to bathe in colors, in fluffy warm things which smell like sweet, orange, vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, cinnamon, hot pepper... all of them at once ! Yes !
I feel like constantly reading, painting, drawing, "digging" through Google Images for cute pictures with all sorts of cute-pink-warm-delicious-teddy-bear like things... I love this insanity! :))
I feel like decorating, changing, moving things from their normal places...
My heart is dying to find the time for these things...
I need to switch the energy level to a higher one ! Overload level should be perfect !
I'll get back to you all, once I have a few things to show... like... what came out from the meeting between I and My Creative Spirit. :) I think a new idea for a blog just came to my mind ! Yey !

This is what we all do

2011-11-20T21:58:00.001+02:00

At times I wonder how this Planet can still survive in such mass madness of emotions.
It's insanely surprising how everything can exist at the same time:happiness,sorrow,pain, joy,hope,despair,peace,war,hunger,abundance,poverty,richness...
It's strange how for some, drama means not being able to have the new iPhone 4S, while for others drama is eating from the dumpster or not having clean water to drink... and yet, we live like this... in some sort of global numbness... where it's OK we don't see things, because it means they do not exist, it means that everything is alright... when a few miles away from your home, someone is dying within its life itself... and he/she cannot even dare to dream of something...
I get so frustrated on myself when my drama is not having 10 pairs of shoes or when I did not manage to go to God knows what party... or when "I don't know who I am" issue keeps me awake at night. And there are people for whom life is just a burden... and there are children who are born in such places, where from the start they have no future, no hope, no childhood.

We sell lies and we buy lies through TV... because everyone has to be updated... you have to be a fashionista, you have to have certain clothes, you have to talk in a certain way, you have to be like you've just been pulled out from the box - FLAWLESS -
And everyone should want to be a star - because you'll be seen like a Superhuman or a NonHuman... a GOD ! Then everyone will want to be like you, to walk like you, to talk like you... Everyone should sing, act or at least be a superstar for some reason - maybe because you dress like a slut or puke because of drinking too much alcohol (because drinking is cool, it gives you that X Factor)... and you should definitely have a reality show, it will make you look more... real??!!??
WE DON'T KNOW WHO WE ARE !!! But let's face it ! How many of us really wish to know WHO THEY/WE ARE?? It seems to me that even this spiritual current is getting to be a trend for so many... I hope not for everyone.We talk about energies and all we feel is the vibration from our cell-phones placed on silent mode.
We make a living out of showing off, we transform ourselves in catwalks, in advertising places, in shop windows and wait for the applauds. Any minute now, someone will compliment us and we will smile in a delicate way, saying to ourselves and to others: "Oh, it's nothing !".
We're insane! We're building a plastic world - fake world - around us, not understanding that we're building for our children, leaving them a wannabe heritage.

We abandon children in hospitals, on the streets and everywhere in this world, we torture children and animals, we abandon animals... we kill animals and kill everything that is innocent and pure. Do you want to know why? Because we're abandoning ourselves, killing ourselves, torturing ourselves! And we think: SOMEONE ELSE IS DOING IT ! but, NO ! WE ARE DOING IT TO OURSELVES.

And each and everyone one of us is responsible for this!

The funny thing is that when YOU will read this, you will automatically not think of you, but to others... you will say to yourself: "Oh, I know a bunch of people who do this and that..."
But what about you??

I'm beginning to understand my call, my mission or my purpose here...
It's hard, I'm not getting the puzzle right, but today, I kind of understood a small thing...
And it's up to me if I wish to leave on this mission or not... I will see...
My intention is not to be another Christ up on the wooden cross and frankly, I don't know if anything should be saved or not... but I feel this huge urge for better, for good, for beauty,
for love.

I saw some quotes from a new movie called "In Time" - the story seems interesting - I was thinking to watch it... but apart from this, I believe this matches very well with what I wrote today:

"Will: How can you live with yourself watching people die right next to you?
Sylvia: You don't watch. You close your eyes."

This is what we all do. We close our eyes.

Cocoon

2011-11-06T22:12:00.000+02:00

A few days ago, I managed to accidentally break my cat's food bowl by kicking it against the wall.(this is some introduction to this post !)
But anyway, I had to buy a new bowl for my cat and this time I bought a plastic purple bowl and I brought it home, happily replacing the old one and I also placed fresh food into the new one, so that my cat knew it was meant for her and her food.
Surprisingly she got scared of the bowl, started smelling it and hitting it with the right front paw and refused the whole day to eat from it... Gradually I was starting to feel nervous, fearing that my cat will not like the bowl and will refuse to eat and as much as I was trying to show her that the food bowl was OK and it was for her, she was running away from it and I was feeling more angry.
I know it sounds funny, but while doing this whole thing, I was starting to panic and the thought of "I should have kept the old bowl" even crossed my mind... So I was nervous and agitated because my cat was afraid of her new bowl and she was refusing to eat out of it; and also because I was feeling helpless in showing her that the new bowl was very much OK.
But as I was starting to feel all these things, a question came out of nowhere and crossed my mind:"Why are you behaving like this?" and I instantly understood that it was not my cat alone who was feeling nervous and agitated, but I was as well... fact is, I was transferring my feelings to my cat and she was feeling them and reacting in the same way as I: restless, panicked, insecure...
I immediately understood that the way my cat was acting was the way I was manifesting within.
So I just stopped, I went back to the table, started writing (what I was doing before) and I allowed myself to calm down, allowing my cat as well to calm down...
I told myself: "It's OK, I will let her see what is all about and eventually she will eat from the bowl." Of course, this is what happened. Within less than 5 minutes, my cat was eating from her new bowl and I was calm and happy.

What I understood? I understood that I still have an issue when it comes to attachments and new things/elements happening in my life... I still have a clumsy way of welcoming the NEW into my life... though my inner core is melting in desire for the NEW, the insecurity which spreads around the core kills this desire... or it manages to somehow deflate the enthusiasm.
Therefore, I understand I should try and greet the NEW more openly, but to do so I will have to change more my inner structure. :) (and I am on my way)

Lately I've been feeling more like listening, reading and writing than like talking...
I'm not so much in mood for talking, I guess I am in some sort of cocoon state.
My dreams have also become very intense, real and long... I am yet to write about a dream I had :) I think it was one of the most amazing dreams I ever had, seemed so real that it scared me when I woke up... I guess we do not exist just here after all...
And I still am in love, it's just that I have this bitterness inside with which I have to deal...

The journey towards your heart and soul

2011-10-30T18:53:00.003+02:00

Lately I've started remembering more moments from my childhood days, at times it amazes me how I've forgotten them... but now I understand that they were not forgotten, but locked away in my mind bank. Why does the brain storage so many things? You would say that this is it's function and yes it's true, the brain is like a storage system, but I am impressed, because it seems to me it stores all of the things, thinking one day you might need them and hoping one day you will open you personal Pandora box and take a look inside.

We have moments of emptiness when we ask ourselves: "Why am I feeling like this?" or "What is wrong with me?" but just after we verbalize the questions, we rush out from that state, we shake off those feelings and head outside... when we are supposed to stay within.

We run in so many directions, we praise people or blame people just out of habit and it's so darn hard to change the habit. Our minds keep stamping people everywhere we go, we don't even do it in a conscious way, but we do it, because we've got so used to our minds "talking" in a non-stop manner.

I now understand how less I've been loving myself, how less I've been respecting myself and how less I've been getting to know myself.
I focus on all people possible, but not on myself. As if I am a perfect sphere and some other people need polishing and I offer to do it for them.
I now understand in what type of process I have to place myself, where compassion, love and understanding have to be there for me and how judging myself will not take me anywhere, exactly how pleasing everyone by being how everyone wants me to be will just send me directly to the Nut House.

We find ourselves in intellectual conversations about what life really is, about it's meaning and about how we wish to find our purpose and how we wish to be more in the heart and less in the mind, but we achieve nothing with such conversations, if we go home and forget that life means us and everyone around us, the whole world; if we do not respect our bodies, but we think we respect our spirit... the body is the temple of our soul... so how can the soul be happy in a body which is mistreated, blamed, judged and fed with garbage? What spiritual awakening can take place in such a body?
Or if we continue to offend people or to have curse words in our daily vocabulary...
What spiritual awakening can take place? What balance can happen within? None.

If we don't respect our nature - as a woman or as a man - if we do not value it, love it and cherish it - who will do it for us ? Nobody.
If you give all your time to others and very less to yourself... when will you have time to watch yourself, be one with yourself and just love yourself for who you are??
Don't try to give what you yourself don't have.

I'm now trying to talk only about what I'm experiencing with myself... I'm not a guru or a zen master, but I've understood that it's almost like a sin when we explain to other people the miracle of life, it's magic, when we ourselves are blind and heartless and very little in contact with our own souls. We preach theory but from no personal experience... and I've done it myself throughout the time... and I regret it.
If you are not yet balanced, accept that you are not balanced... if you yet see no good change in yourself, don't claim to have changed... give yourself time to find yourself, but to do so, you really have to start the journey towards your heart and soul...

Eagle of the skies

2011-10-13T15:27:00.000+03:00

The anger within me is not a negative one

it means I'm starving for something big

it means I've been waiting, but no more

it means I'm out, hunting for The Big.

The anger within me is no anger for someone

it means I'm dying to burst out

it means I'm yearning to come out

it means I'm out, hunting for The Big.

Get ready, World ! Get ready for me !

Put on your best clothes ! Put on them for me !

Head high and chest out, I'm breaking free !

Eyes hungry, heart open, I'm coming for thee !

The anger within me is not a negative one

it means I'm lusting for what is mine to come,

it means I'm lurking for the better one

it means I'm ready for what is mine to come.

Get ready, World ! Get ready for this !

Put on your best clothes ! Put on your best dress !

Little do you know that the bird in the cage

Has grown into an eagle, an eagle with rage !

Get ready, World ! It's all you can do...

Get ready, World ! Watch me break through !

Little did you know that the bird behind bars

Was born to be an eagle, eagle of the skies.

(by Upanishada - 13th Oct. 2011)

There is a time and place for everything

2011-10-07T20:28:00.000+03:00

The first shock of any human being is when it first comes into this world.
The first struggle of a person is coming out of the mother's womb.
Of course, the woman pushes the baby out, but the child is also the one who moves and naturally starts to move out, not because he is aware of what he needs to do (maybe or maybe not), but because it is naturally programmed to do so.

As a child, in most cases, parents and the whole family love you (the best way they know and the best way they can), they take care of you, they are there for you when you pee, poo, feel hungry, sleepy, sad, happy... even when your tummy hurts, because you have gas, but you don't know how to let it out. Family is there when you first use the bottle to suck milk, when you first laugh, when you decide to take your first clumsy step or when you say "mama or dada".
All you have to do is eat, sleep, play and grow and these are easy things to do, because they come to you very naturally... you have immediate needs, similar to the ones of a puppy, kitten, or any other cub.

As you grow, frustrations build up inside... due to many factors (society, laws, do's and don't's), but must of all, you begin to gather frustrations because you realize you need to learn what responsibility is.
If you think about it, had any of us lacked responsible parents, we wouldn't have been where we are... I'm sure many of you have lots of negative things to say about your families (I could also write a list of my own), but if you choose for a minute to leave all that aside, you will agree that compared to people who were abused (one way or the other) in their childhood, yours was pretty awesome ! (be honest !)

So, what did our parents learned as individuals, before becoming "mummy" and "daddy" ?
They learned that being a human involves being responsible of your own life and later on... what do you know ?... also being responsible of a new life - a baby.

Many people (myself included) have trouble when it comes to big responsibilities.
And when I talk about responsibilities, I do not mean working, earning some money and spending it or paying a few bills here and there...
The great responsibility is that: when you realize you've done a mistake, the next step should not be "Whom should I contact for help?". The next thought should be: "Why did I end up here? What can I do to fix it?".
If you do not wish to be treated as a child, by your parents/family, even when you reached your mature stage (at least, from age point of view :-P ), you should also act like one, not just begin to claim you have trillions of rights, but zero responsibilities.

There comes a point in your life when your health state, financial state, emotional state, etc. depend only on you and your actions and regardless of what you choose to do with your life, you should understand that if something goes wrong it was also because of your decisions/actions, therefore, you are the only who can and SHOULD fix it.

I learned (recently) that you cannot just theoretically claim you are mature, you should also act accordingly - when I say mature, I refer to: you're the only one to blame if something goes wrong in your life and you should take action and also admit your mistakes to yourself.
I use the word "mistakes" because this is how anyone calls a difficult situation in his/her life.
On a spiritual level, yes, there is no mistake, just experiences we need to go through.

This does not mean you should kill your inner child, but you should know, that if you eat a whole box of chocolates, just because they taste good, you might end up at the hospital.
Your inner child is always greedy and playful 24/7.
Your mature side is the one who is able to balance out things for your own good.
Exterior confirmations of "am I doing it right or wrong?", blaming the others or constantly asking for help from people in matters which really belong to you personally will never make you responsible of your own life. You end up being a burden for people. (I've experienced the feeling and trust me, it sucks !).

There is a time and place for everything and you should explain this to your inner child. :)

The woman I will never be

2011-09-28T21:53:00.002+03:00

Women try to be beautiful, almost daily... it's like we don't allow our natural beauty to be, we try to be beautiful by using so many "tricks": clothes which make you look taller, skinnier, fitter, which make you have a better ass, waist, breasts, then make-up, hair(all the cuts and colors), then all the accessories we use: rings, earrings, necklaces, bracelets...
I would lie if I say I don't enjoy all this, but at times it becomes tiring... we begin to be worried about a few extra kilos, we approach diets, we exhaust ourselves with diets, sports, pills to trim down, cutting off sugars, bread, too much this and too much that... it's seems we become complete professionals when it comes to knowing what we are not allowed.

I know I will never be the woman who has perfect hair daily, it will never look perfect when I wake up, when I go to gym, when it's a rainy day or a hot steamy day... in fact, my hair has a rebellious character and I kind of like it like this :) and not even when I go to a hair salon does my hair stay perfect for the whole day and not to mention that I hate to iron my hair to the point where it completely sticks to my head. No way !

I know I will never be the woman who has perfect nail polish daily. Why ? Because I don't have patience... patience for it to dry up. After I perfectly paint my nails, I somehow need to type, write, grab something... or I have to scratch my nose, etc. Second reason will also be that my job involves typing a lot... so my nails hit the keyboard a lot.

I know I will never be the woman who likes to window-shop on a daily basis or often.
I know I will never be the woman who will spend a whole day at the mall... Funny or not, whenever I go shopping, I KNOW or I HAVE THE FEELING about the places where I am going to find the things I need and I do get them. I hate to waste a whole day in shops. When it comes to jewels, I don't look for them, they somehow come my way and I notice them and I buy them on the spot (in most cases I also have the money with me)... similar thing happens to me when it comes to buying books.
Yes, I am a woman who likes to read and, yes, I do buy books... I even have times when I invest a lot in books and then I take them gradually and read them, but first I like to have them, I have to know that they are there in my home.

I know I will never be the woman who likes to buy a puppy hoping she will look cute walking down the streets with it... and I'm sure not going to play dress-up with my pet.

I know I will never be the woman who wears heels to go and buy bread and a bottle of water or who will prefer to freeze in the middle of the winter for the love of fashion...

I know I will never be the woman who will choose a man as a piece of jewelry, with the attitude: "Does he look good beside me ?" or "Does he make me look good?".

I know I will never be the woman who will expect from guys to dress her up and take her to the clubs or to shops for the sake of making her shut up or for "buying" her attention, companionship, etc. You may think I'm talking lies, but I get a strange feeling when it comes to such things... I like presents, but I like them from people who really know me and care for me.
And this I can feel.

What kind of woman, you girls, will never be ?

As if...

2011-09-26T14:49:00.000+03:00

As if...

As if body is lost

lost lust

lost trust.

As if heart is frost

frozen lust

frozen trust.

As if "what if ?"

a unique question

an empty interrogation

no possession

just oppression.

As if soul is lost

lost in lust,

frozen in time's dust.

A soul lust.

A soul lost.

(written by Upanishada on 7th Feb. 2011)

Everything is alright in my world.

2011-09-25T23:48:00.001+03:00

In the infinity of life, where I find myself, everything is perfect,

whole and complete and, still, in continuous change.

There is no beginning and there is no ending, just a constant cycle

and recycle of the matter and of the experiences.

Life is never blocked or static or held still, because every moment

is eternal, new and fresh.

I am one with the Power itself which created me

and this Power also gave me the power to create my own circumstances.

I'm glad when I think about the fact that I can use the power of my mind

to get anything I wish for.

Every moment of life is a new beginning which pushes us away from the old one.

This very moment is a new starting point for me, right here and right now.

Everything is alright in my world.

Dear who ever you read this,

2011-09-24T21:13:00.002+03:00

Let me tell you about life... I don't know anything about life.
I just know bits about me, the world around me and the people in it and I am not sure if this ALL is life, could be, might be, may be... for now, all that is going on with me and in me I choose to call it life, because I have no other better word for it.
I'm here because of different factors, people, reasons, but I have no overall image, I don't have a landscape image about everything... every day seems like a puzzle piece and every day brings something new - which we people call it BAD or GOOD according to our wishes, expectations, etc. but the sure fact is that every day brings to each and every person a new element.
My life lessons are few, but they are there and probably one day I will consider myself wise enough to share them or brave enough to share them or whatever... I have this feeling that I will end up writing books about people in my life and moments in my life... but then again... who am I to state something ?
Every day brings something new. Right ?
I could use an old saying by stating that LIFE IS A ROLLER-COASTER, but I'm not that old to use such "so-last-summer" statement.
I think that life is not a fix thing, the more one tries to make it a fix thing, life shows her mighty powers proving the person wrong... at times you end up in a sick game with life, the one of trying to show one another who's the best in tricking the other.
No person can fool life.
The important moment in your life, I think, is going to be the one when you meet yourself in the mirror. And do you know what comes after this? The second important moment in your life, I think, is going to be when you will meet your demons. Don't fight them. Don't swear them.
The trigger moment will be when you will tell yourself: "Yes, this is who I've been."
If you need to change, change, if not, don't.
Maybe I do not understand many things, I never claimed to be a genius or a God, but I believe that this earthly life is just reflection of my inner journey I take inside myself, just me with myself, on my own.
And apart from this road called life... my life towards womanhood is fragile, strong, vulnerable, painful, joyful. One could say that womanhood is part of life... I feel it differently.
Dear who ever you read this, always place yourself on first place, not out of selfishness, but out of love for who you are, because the person you wake up with and go to bed with is you.
The best you can do is get to know yourself honestly and love yourself... and along the path you will meet people who will share with you out of their love and experiences and they will also take from you, but never shall you be left without.
Dear who ever you read this, I love you, because I love myself.

I came here as a woman

2011-09-12T01:13:00.001+03:00

I didn't just fall. No !

I crashed, crawled and burned.

I didn't just feel. No !

I kissed, loved and begged.

I no longer believe what I see.

Is this really me ?

I no longer feel what I feel.

Is this heart a wannabe ?

Words in my mouth and thoughts in my mind

make no sense at all.

Swords in my soul and clouds in my brain

want to prove me wrong.

"You are a warrior !", my mind says...

But I don't mind the mind.

I know, to be warrior

You have to be in at least one fight.

"You are victorious !", my mind says again...

Little does she know

I have no competition to win,

no warriors to war.

I'm weak on the inside,

But my building stands tall.

Trust me ! (what a cliche)

Trust me, I can still fall.

"So what ?", my mind says...

"Before they can fly, all birds fall".

I came here as a woman...

What to do ? I don't know...

I feel lives waiting inside me

And crying when my eyes cry too...

I came here as a woman

My soul is of a different breed.

I feel lives waiting inside me

Begging to be freed.

I came here as a woman,

For now, it's all I can be...

I'll go away as a woman

And set my soul free.

by Upanishada

(September 11, 2011)

tick-tock, tick-tock...

2011-09-10T08:22:00.001+03:00

Lately life has been a vortex, most probably created by me.
Like when you go round and round looking towards the sky and then you suddenly stop, but you still can feel the earth go around you and your brain heavy and light at the same time.
I used to do this when I was a child and then I would grab my head with both hands as if it was going to fall off my shoulders.
This is how life has been recently and though I've been trying to give myself the best analysis of my inner-self, I believe my mind is confused and my soul wants to rest.
I read somewhere that one should allow the universe to send whatever the universe believes it's for that person and that one should stop being stubborn about things which do not happen in the way one expected... it's like "go with the flow".
I've stopped doing this a long time back, going with the flow, and of course, unlike the grass which chooses to bend when the wind is blowing hard, I, like a tree, chose to stand tall and brave, facing the winds and the storm and, of course, in the end, the tree gets pulled from the ground. What good do stubbornness and bravery do, when you end up killed by them, because you are brave to face the danger, but to blind to asses it ?

Yes, life might be like a box of chocolates, you might not know what you get, but maybe we could at least be careful from which candy shop we buy the box...

Some two or three days back, I told a good friend of mine: "Sometimes life scares me more than death" and the reply was: "Take it like a joke, life is really not that bad as you think."

Dreams to follow, experiences to live and time is going tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...

When a new box arrives home :)

2011-09-02T22:16:00.001+03:00

PS: I absolutely love my furry lady :)

Let go. Let god.

2011-08-08T11:40:00.000+03:00

In this life you have to face things by yourself,

regardless of the number of people you know.

They can be by your side,

but you deal with the "standing-on-my-own-two-feet".

For one human, this world is endless and wide

and so are the possibilities.

Life will not judge you, but it will give you

according to your acts and thoughts.

So do not blame life.

I and God always had a special relationship,

ever since childhood.

I know this FORCE is out there and everywhere

and I love the force and the force loves me back as well.

It's close to magic, but I know that it's a fact.

I find it hard to accept, at times,

many things which come along with life...

How things appear, evolve, perish...

I have a lot of work to do with myself

from the simple point of accepting many things,

but the lessons I get make me who I'll become.

I want to flow through life just like this.

Not questioning, not worrying, not fearing.

The lessons of my life are just two.

I have to learn:

TO LET GO

TO LET GOD

ode to the cat

2011-08-03T23:32:00.000+03:00

It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens. ~Cynthia E. Varnado

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. ~Dereke Bruce

There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat. ~Tay Hohoff

If cats could talk, they wouldn't. ~Nan Porter

There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats. ~Albert Schweitzer

A catless writer is almost inconceivable. It's a perverse taste, really, since it would be easier to write with a herd of buffalo in the room than even one cat; they make nests in the notes and bite the end of the pen and walk on the typewriter keys. ~Barbara Holland

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. ~Mark Twain

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. ~Joseph Wood Krutch

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. ~Doug Larson

There is something about the presence of a cat that seems to take the bite out of being alone. ~Louis J. Camuti

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. ~Ellen Perry Berkeley

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer. ~Paula Poundstone

Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience. ~Pam Brown

After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference. ~Charlotte Gray

A cat can be trusted to purr when she is pleased, which is more than can be said for human beings. ~William Ralph Inge

The reason cats climb is so that they can look down on almost every other animal - it's also the reason they hate birds. ~K.C. Buffington

A cat is an example of sophistication minus civilization. ~Author Unknown

There has never been a cat
Who couldn't calm me down
By walking slowly
Past my chair.
~Rod McKuen

Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won't attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling. ~Helen Powers

Cats do care. For example they know instinctively what time we have to be at work in the morning and they wake us up twenty minutes before the alarm goes off. ~Michael Nelson

When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime to her more than she is to me? ~Michel de Montaigne, Essays, 1580

Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives. ~Stephen Baker

I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days. ~Bill Dana

If there is one spot of sun spilling onto the floor, a cat will find it and soak it up. ~J.A. McIntosh

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch. ~Leo Dworken

It doesn't do to be sentimental about cats; the best ones don't respect you for it. ~Susan Howatch

A dog, I have always said, is prose; a cat is a poem. ~Jean Burden

The cat is the only animal without visible means of support who still manages to find a living in the city. ~Carl van Vechten

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. ~Wesley Bates

If the pull of the outside world is strong, there is also a pull towards the human. The cat may disappear on its own errands, but sooner or later, it returns once again for a little while, to greet us with its own type of love. ~Lloyd Alexander

One is never sure, watching two cats washing each other, whether it's affection, the taste, or a trial run for the jugular. ~Helen Thomson

I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through. ~Jules Verne

A cat pours his body on the floor like water. ~William Lyon Phelps

There is no more intrepid explorer than a kitten. ~Jules Champfleury

A cat improves the garden wall in sunshine, and the hearth in foul weather. ~Judith Merkle Riley

A cat's got her own opinion of human beings. She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it. ~Jerome K. Jerome

I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat. ~Edgar Allan Poe

The cat seldom interferes with other people's rights. His intelligence keeps him from doing many of the fool things that complicate life. ~Carl Van Vechten

Cats come and go without ever leaving. ~Martha Curtis

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. ~Joseph Wood Krutch

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. ~Mary Bly

The cat is the only animal which accepts the comforts but rejects the bondage of domesticity. ~Georges Louis Leclerc de Buffon

The city of cats and the city of men exist one inside the other, but they are not the same city. ~Italo Calvino

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. ~Lemony Snicket

My cat speaks sign language with her tail. ~Robert A. Stern

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well. ~Missy Dizick

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. ~Terry Pratchett

Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons. ~Robertson Davies

The cat is domestic only as far as suits its own ends. ~Saki

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. ~Garrison Keillor

Most cats, when they are Out want to be In, and vice versa, and often simultaneously. ~Louis J. Camuti

Kittens believe that all nature is occupied with their diversion. ~F.A. Paradis de Moncrif

What greater gift than the love of a cat? ~Charles Dickens

Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream.
~T.S. Eliot

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. ~Faith Resnick

Most of us rather like our cats to have a streak of wickedness. I should not feel quite easy in the company of any cat that walked about the house with a saintly expression. ~Beverly Nichols

Kittens are angels with whiskers. ~Author Unknown

Even if you have just destroyed a Ming Vase, purr. Usually all will be forgiven. ~Lenny Rubenstein

If he is comic, it is only because of the incongruity of so demure a look and so wild a heart. ~Alan Devoe

Purring would seem to be, in her case, an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness overflow. ~Monica Edwards

It is in the nature of cats to do a certain amount of unescorted roaming. ~Adlai Stevenson

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. ~Albert Einstein

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. ~Arab Proverb

Cats have intercepted my footsteps at the ankle for so long that my gait, both at home and on tour, has been compared to that of a man wading through low surf. ~Roy Blount, Jr.

Like a graceful vase, a cat, even when motionless, seems to flow. ~George F. Will

You own a dog but you feed a cat. ~Jenny de Vries

Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner. ~Gary Smith

Sometimes he curls up on my pillow during the night and I don't know he's there until I yawn and my mouth closes on a whisker. ~Astrid Alauda

A cat isn't fussy - just so long as you remember he likes his milk in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue plate. From which he will take it, and eat it off the floor. ~Arthur Bridges

Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk. ~Henry David Thoreau

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. ~Author Unknown

Kittens can happen to anyone. ~Paul Gallico

It is impossible for a lover of cats to banish these alert, gentle, and discriminating little friends, who give us just enough of their regard and complaisance to make us hunger for more. ~Agnes Repplier

No heaven will not ever Heaven be
Unless my cats are there to welcome me.
~Author Unknown

The cat is the animal to whom the Creator gave the biggest eye, the softest fur, the most supremely delicate nostrils, a mobile ear, an unrivaled paw and a curved claw borrowed from the rose-tree. ~Colette

A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it. ~Joseph Epstein

Cats conspire to keep us at arm's length. ~Frank Perkins

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. ~Hippolyte Taine

There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. ~Dan Greenberg

Although all cat games have their rules and rituals, these vary with the individual player. The cat, of course, never breaks a rule. If it does not follow precedent, that simply means it has created a new rule and it is up to you to learn it quickly if you want the game to continue. ~Sidney Denham

People who love cats have some of the biggest hearts around. ~Susan Easterly

Prowling his own quiet backyard or asleep by the fire, he is still only a whisker away from the wilds. ~Jean Burden

The trouble with a kitten is that
Eventually it becomes a cat.
~Ogden Nash

Cats can be cooperative when something feels good, which, to a cat, is the way everything is supposed to feel as much of the time as possible. ~Roger Caras

The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way. ~Mark Twain

When you're used to hearing purring and suddenly it's gone, it's hard to silence the blaring sound of sadness. ~Missy Altijd

Any conditioned cat-hater can be won over by any cat who chooses to make the effort. ~Paul Corey

Keep an eye on the cat and another on the frying pan. ~Proverb

Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance. ~Dan Greenburg

Psychologists now recognize that the need in some people to have a dozen cats is really a sublimated desire to have two dozen cats. ~Robert Brault

It always gives me a shiver when I see a cat seeing what I can't see. ~Eleanor Farjeon

Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them. ~Jim Davis

Cats speak a subtle language in which few sounds carry many meanings, depending on how they are sung or purred. "Mnrhnh" means comfortable soft chairs. It also means fish. It means genial companionship... and the absence of dogs. ~Val Schaffner

People that don't like cats haven't met the right one yet. ~Deborah A. Edwards

Another cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a wornout coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that have succeeded but not replaced one another. ~Irving Townsend

I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul. ~Jean Cocteau

By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will find themselves happier with a dog. ~Barbara Holland

You cannot look at a sleeping cat and feel tense. ~Jane Pauley

If by chance I seated myself to write, she very slyly, very tenderly, seeking protection and caresses, would softly take her place on my knee and follow the comings and goings of my pen -sometimes effacing, with an unintentional stroke of her paw, lines of whose tenor she disapproved. ~Pierre Loti

You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals. ~George Mikes

To err is human, to purr is feline. ~Robert Byrne

Cat lovers can readily be identified. Their clothes always look old and well used. Their sheets look like bath towels and their bath towels look like a collection of knitting mistakes. ~Eric Gurney

The cat loves fish, but she's loath to wet her feet. ~Proverb

Do you see that kitten chasing so prettily her own tail? If you could look with her eyes, you might see her surrounded with hundreds of figures performing complex dramas, with tragic and comic issues, long conversations, many characters, many ups and downs of fate. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because of all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll on a dead fish. ~James Gorman

Cats as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by that fact that in Ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods. ~P.G. Wodehouse

Some people say man is the most dangerous animal on the planet. Obviously those people have never met an angry cat. ~Lillian Johnson

Time spent with cats is never wasted. ~May Sarton

A cat is a lion in a jungle of small bushes. ~Indian Proverb

People meeting for the first time suddenly relax if they find they both have cats. And plunge into anecdote. ~Charlotte Gray

Any household with at least one feline member has no need for an alarm clock. ~Louise A. Belcher

Who would believe such pleasure from a wee ball o' fur? ~Irish Saying

Dogs have owners, cats have staff. ~Author Unknown

One must love a cat on its own terms. ~Paul Gray

The sun rose slowly, like a fiery furball coughed up uneasily onto a sky-blue carpet by a giant unseen cat. ~Michael McGarel

A kitten is the most irresistible comedian in the world. Its wide-open eyes gleam with wonder and mirth. It darts madly at nothing at all, and then, as though suddenly checked in the pursuit, prances sideways on its hind legs with ridiculous agility and zeal. ~Agnes Repplier

Dogs eat. Cats dine. ~Ann Taylor

She clawed her way into my heart and wouldn't let go. ~Missy Altijd

Of all the toys available, none is better designed than the owner himself. A large multipurpose plaything, its parts can be made to move in almost any direction. It comes completely assembled, and it makes a sound when you jump on it. ~Stephen Baker

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. ~Abraham Lincoln

I enjoy many silent moments with my cat, a conversation always resumed exactly where left off. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

The dog may be wonderful prose, but only the cat is poetry. ~French Proverb

The cat has always been associated with the moon. Like the moon it comes to life at night, escaping from humanity and wandering over housetops with its eyes beaming out through the darkness. ~Patricia Dale-Green

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use. ~Mark Twain

Cats never strike a pose that isn't photogenic. ~Lillian Jackson Braun

Who hath a better friend than a cat? ~William Hardwin

Nobody who is not prepared to spoil cats will get from them the reward they are able to give to those who do spoil them. ~Compton MacKenzie

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. ~Hazel Nicholson

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. ~Andre Norton

When a cat chooses to be friendly, it's a big deal, because a cat is picky. ~Mike Deupree

He liked companionship, but he wouldn't be petted, or fussed over, or sit in anyone's lap a moment; he always extricated himself from such familiarity with dignity and with no show of temper. If there was any petting to be done, however, he chose to do it. Often he would sit looking at me, and then, moved by a delicate affection, come and pull at my coat and sleeve until he could touch my face with his nose, and then go away contented. ~Charles Dudley Warner

Even overweight, cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses. ~John Weitz

In the middle of a world that had always been a bit mad, the cat walks with confidence. ~Rosanne Amberson

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. ~Colette

The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself. Of course he wants care and shelter. You don't buy love for nothing. Like all pure creatures, cats are practical. ~William S. Burroughs

One cat just leads to another. ~Ernest Hemingway

Women, poets, and especially artists, like cats; delicate natures only can realize their sensitive systems. ~Helen M. Winslow

Most beds sleep up to six cats. Ten cats without the owner. ~Stephen Baker

A cat is a tiger that is fed by hand. ~Proverb

I put down my book, The Meaning of Zen, and see the cat smiling into her fur as she delicately combs it with her rough pink tongue. "Cat, I would lend you this book to study but it appears you have already read it." She looks up and gives me her full gaze. "Don't be ridiculous," she purrs, "I wrote it." ~Dilys Laing, "Miao"

Who among us hasn't envied a cat's ability to ignore the cares of daily life and to relax completely? ~Karen Brademeyer

Cats only pretend to be domesticated if they think there's a bowl of milk in it for them. ~Robin Williams

Every dog has his day - but the nights are reserved for the cats. ~Author Unknown

A kitten is so flexible that she is almost double; the hind parts are equivalent to another kitten with which the forepart plays. She does not discover that her tail belongs to her until you tread on it. ~Henry David Thoreau

Your cat may never have to hunt farther than the kitchen counter for its supper nor face a predator more fierce than the vacuum cleaner. ~Barbara L. Diamond

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. ~Mark Twain

A meow massages the heart. ~Stuart McMillan

The domestic cat seems to have greater confidence in itself than in anyone else. ~Lawrence N. Johnson

If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. ~Alfred North Whitehead

Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal, and lazy. It's easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess so many of the same qualities as some people (expensive girlfriends, for instance) that it's often hard to tell the people and the cats apart. ~P.J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners

It's really the cat's house - we just pay the mortgage. ~Author Unknown

Cats are notoriously sore losers. Coming in second best, especially to someone as poorly coordinated as a human being, grates their sensibility. ~Stephen Baker

Does the father figure in your cat's life ever clean the litter box? My husband claims that men lack the scooping gene. ~Barbara L. Diamond

Some people have cats and go on to lead normal lives. ~Author Unknown

Cats have an infallible understanding of total concentration - and get between you and it. ~Arthur Bridges

Four little Persians, but only one looked in my direction. I extended a tentative finger and two soft paws clung to it. There was a contented sound of purring, I suspect on both our parts. ~George Freedley

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore. ~Mark Twain

I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted, but his or her entertainment value. ~Author Unknown

It is remarkable, in cats, that the outer life they reveal to their masters is one of perpetual boredom. ~Robley Wilson, Jr.

The smart cat doesn't let on that he is. ~H.G. Frommer

If I called her she would pretend not to hear, but would come a few moments later when it could appear that she had thought of doing so first. ~Arthur Weigall

I am as vigilant as a cat to steal cream. ~William Shakespeare, Henry IV

If we treated everyone we meet with the same affection we bestow upon our favorite cat, they, too, would purr. ~Martin Buxbaum

The cat was created when the lion sneezed. ~Arabian Proverb

The cat is above all things, a dramatist. ~Margaret Benson

Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything. ~Hank Ketchum

An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old. ~Carl Van Vechten

Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all things were created to serve man. ~Paul Gray

If the claws didn't retract, cats would be like Velcro. ~Bruce Fogle

A cat determined not to be found can fold itself up like a pocket handkerchief if it wants to. ~Louis J. Camuti

Most cats do not approach humans recklessly. The possibility of concealed weapons, clods or sticks, tend to make them reserved. Homeless cats in particular - with some justification, unfortunately - consider humans their natural enemies. Much ceremony must be observed, and a number of diplomatic feelers put out, before establishing a state of truce. ~Lloyd Alexander

God made the cat in order that man might have the pleasure of caressing the lion. ~Fernand Mery

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. ~Jeff Valdez

If only cats grew into kittens. ~R. Stern

If there were to be a universal sound depicting peace, I would surely vote for the purr. ~Barbara L. Diamond

I'm here to learn and to move forward.

2011-07-12T21:54:00.000+03:00

I live my life on this beautiful blue planet, I live here because I chose to come here, because I have things to discover about myself with the help from this planet... with the help from all the people, all the souls which also chose to come along with me here and meet me here.

I have been blind for far too long and right here and right now is time for me to open my eyes and see me as a whole and as a piece of this greatness.

Nobody said it was going to be easy, in fact, it is as hard as I impose that it needs to be.

I have the limits which I invent for myself and then believe in them.

It feels strange, also scary, also lovely, nice and challenging... all these things packed up in one emotion, one body, one soul - me.

Please, do not take me for a special person!

Please, do not see me as a super human, for I am not.

I'm not saying this to play the modest, I just feel that I have to ask you all to not see me like this.

I feel like I've been carrying a lot with me, lives in a row... ever since childhood (this childhood), I was always feeling older than others and like my timing was always bad compared to all the others.

What I mean to say is that my path was a roller-coaster, maybe it still is, but at least I'm feeling that I'm no longer enjoying the ride being blindfolded and if I am scared, I can scream and if I am happy, I can laugh out loud.

I am here for getting my answers. I feel like more than ever, it is my time now.

I understand now why I use my imaginary shell for hiding away, not because I just get scared, I go inside to germinate more, to gather more sap and to come out blooming from my deepest core.

I might have come from here itself or even from some other place, but because I am here - on Mother Earth - I will try my best in everything possible and I will listen more to myself and I will give myself time and less criticism, I will give myself more love so that I can give love to others.

I'm here to learn and to move forward.

I'm on my way :)

2011-07-06T17:52:00.000+03:00

Ganesha is here

2011-06-30T13:16:00.000+03:00

Ganesha (or Ganesa, Ganesh, also known as Ganapati) is one of the best-known deities and most widely worshipped in the Hindu pantheon.

He is the Lord of Obstacles, both of material and spiritual order. He is mostly worshipped as a remover of obstacles, though, traditionally, he also places obstacles in the path of those who need to be checked.

He is also considered to be the lord of letters and of learning.

He is also identified with the Hindu mantra AUM, also called OM.

According to Kundalini yoga, Ganesha resides in the first chakra, called Muladhara (mula - means "original, main" and adhara - means "base, foundation"

The Muladhara chakra is the principle of which the manifestation or outward expansion of primordial Divine Forces rests. Ganesha has a permanent abode in every being at the Muladhara. Ganesha holds, supports and guides all other chakras, thereby he governs the forces which propel the wheel of life.

( the statue of Ganesha which I bought yesterday)

Last weekend I watched again the movie "Eat, Pray, Love", because my sister wanted to see it.

At some point, during the movie, there is a moment when a character mentions about Ganesha as being the remover of obstacles and the thought came into my mind that I wished I would have had a Ganesha (be it picture, charm, statue).

Yesterday, at work, again it just so happened that Ganesha was mentioned in something I was translating and again the same detail was said - that he removes obstacles.

Of course, the same thought was there - that I wanted to have some material shape of Ganesha.

Later that day (yesterday) I went to a vegetarian restaurant and though I had been there a few times before, I believe I did not pay close attention to whatever was around me.

There, they also sell books and jewels and other nice things - related to spirituality, energies, etc. - and there he is was ! This black statue of Ganesha, made out of wood... I smiled, took it in my hands and felt happy. "I found you" I said... and then another thought rushed into my head "or maybe you found me". I took it to the table with me, ordered lunch, had a good time eating my food, enjoying the silence of that place and looking at my statue from time to time.

I took it home with me and now Ganesha is in my room, near a wooden elephant and a salt lamp :) and they seem to get along just fine. There are moments (just like this one) when... the magic of life seems to be shinning brighter. Ganesha is here, now i know more obstacles will fall down.

Creativity is liberty

2011-06-28T12:50:00.000+03:00

I cannot imagine my life without colors and cute things... funny shapes, childish things, strange mixes of shapes and colors.

I'm not a "fashionista" girl, or at least I avoid to see myself as that, but I enjoy surrounding myself with beautiful things which warm up my heart.

Ahh... yes, my childhood never died. :)

This is why I play with clay, paint, make jewels and so on...

Surrender - by Upanishada

2011-06-26T10:58:00.000+03:00

This is me,

but this is not mine.

The face that you see

is not mine.

These two eyes, these two lips,

this hair, these ears, these cheeks,

this nose, this skin...

they do not belong to me.

This is me,

but this is not mine.

This neck, these arms,

not mine.

These breasts, these fingers,

not mine.

This belly, these hips, these thighs,

not mine.

These legs and these toes,

not mine at all.

This is me,

with less, with more.

I do not own me at all.

This is flesh.

These are just bones.

These are veins.

Not mine at all.

Kidneys, liver, heart and womb

You can have them.

Have them for good!

These are tears,

not mine at all.

I own nothing.

I'm nothing at all.

These I bring down to your feet.

I surrender, before you defeat.

This is me, but nothing is my own.

I am nothing. Make me whole!

(25th June 2011) Painting by Andrei Pavel (http://sssfinxxx.ro/blog/)

I love love

2011-06-14T20:42:00.000+03:00

Because all the words written and spoken about love will never be enough to explain the real feeling. I love love. :)

What tree did you fall from ?

2011-06-07T23:47:00.000+03:00

I fell from the Cedar Tree. Find yours !

Dec 23 to Jan 01	Apple Tree	Jun 25 to Jul 04	Apple Tree
Jan 01 to Jan 11	Fir Tree	Jul 05 to Jul 14	Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24	Elm Tree	Jul 15 to Jul 25	Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03	Cypress Tree	Jul 26 to Aug 04	Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08	Poplar Tree	Aug 05 to Aug 13	Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18	Cedar Tree	Aug 14 to Aug 23	Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28	Pine Tree	Aug 24 to Sep 02	Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10	Weeping Willow Tree	Sep 03 to Sep 12	Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20	Lime Tree	Sep 13 to Sep 22	Lime Tree
Mar 21	Oak Tree	Sep 23	Olive Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31	Hazelnut Tree	Sep 24 to Oct 03	Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10	Rowan Tree	Oct 04 to Oct 13	Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20	Maple Tree	Oct 14 to Oct 23	Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30	Walnut Tree	Oct 24 to Nov 11	Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14	Poplar Tree	Nov 12 to Nov 21	Chestnut Tree
May 15 to May 24	Chestnut Tree	Nov 22 to Dec 01	Ash Tree
May 25 to Jun 03	Ash Tree	Dec 02 to Dec 11	Hornbeam Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13	Hornbeam Tree	Dec 12 to Dec 21	Fig Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23	Fig Tree	Dec 22	Beech Tree
Jun 24	Birch Tree

YOUR TREE (in alphabetical order)

Apple Tree (the Love) — quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.

Ash Tree (the Ambition) — extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support.

Beech Tree (the Creative) — has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).

Birch Tree (the Inspiration) — vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

Cedar Tree (the Confidence) — of rare strength, knows how to adapt, likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

Chestnut Tree (the Honesty) — of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.

Cypress Tree (the Faithfulness) — strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.

Elm Tree (the Noble-mindedness) — pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

Fig Tree (the Sensibility) — very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest, loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, a social butterfly, great sense of humor, likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, has artistic talent and great intelligence.

Fir Tree (the Mysterious) — extraordinary taste, handles stress poorly, loves anything beautiful, can become depressed at times, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them as well as helping strangers, rather modest, hard worker, talented, unselfish, few sexual relationships, many friends, doesn't want foes, very reliable.

Hazelnut Tree (the Extraordinary) — charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.

Hornbeam Tree (the Good Taste) — of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

Lime Tree (the Doubt) — intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, can become a complainer, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.

Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) — no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

Oak Tree (the Brave) — robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

Olive Tree (the Wisdom) — loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

Pine Tree (the Peacemaker) — loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and reassurance.

Poplar Tree (the Uncertainty) — looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

Rowan Tree (the Sensitivity) — full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

Walnut Tree (the Passion) — unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

Weeping Willow (the Melancholy) — likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh.

Bohemian desire

2011-05-31T14:30:00.000+03:00

I've said it before, but I did not write it. But I am writing it now. I feel the desire to escape, to go to some place where nobody knows me and where I do not know anyone. I feel a strong desire to be with myself in a different context... I feel like I'm not breathing properly, not sleeping properly... and it's not about the fact that I'm doing something wrong, but I lack excitement, enthusiasm and I miss the way new places smell like, feel like and so on...

I'm building my dream, day by day, brick by brick... at times it's very tiring, I swear! There are moments when I move around my home and I feel like grabbing a chair and smashing it towards the walls, I feel anger and that's not who I am.

I want to disappear in a new land and just enjoy the smell of life, the smell of love.

I want to walk around on a beach, sandals in one hand and hand in hand with him...

I believe I'm getting ready for a new chapter in my life. Sometimes I feel like no matter where I go around this city is just a waste of time and of energy. Most probably the city is not the issue, I am, but I am also tired of feeling that I have all the issues.

I feel like: "OK, I've learned this, lets move on".

Despite all the fear, I want to open my arms wide, I want to open my heart and FEEL the world.

This need is like when you are extremely thirsty.

And I want my home with all of my finger prints on it... I want to sit in the center of my home and say: "Home sweet home".

"They say home is where you're heart's at" - and more and more my heart is not here...

from I AM to I UNDERSTAND

2011-05-30T23:01:00.000+03:00

The boy with flowers

2011-05-23T23:40:00.000+03:00

Garden flowers in his arms...

But he had stopped to gaze.

Though selling flowers

He stared amazed.

He liked pens, papers, colors.

That's why he was selling flowers.

by Upanishada

(23.05.2011)

a blend

2011-05-21T00:05:00.000+03:00

Life is an amazing product of the universe, or of God, or of both... or of who ever decided to create such thing and love is it's magic potion which keeps you sane, which keeps your dreams in your heart and the good in your soul... and life keeps love in your being, it places it there and tells it: "Now you are free to bloom!". To come from love, to live in love and to grow out of love and from love... these are the elements which keep our cells together, our energies bound, which make us who we are...

I know about evil, I know about bad things...

But when it comes to love and life I always feel that I know less than I can in fact know and discover and this feeling pushes me forward... most of the times I don't know the direction, but it's an amazing sensation to move forward due to love and the need of more from life.

Tonight I feel more of love and more of life, more than in any other days and I really want to share these energies with all of you, I want to share with you all this moment of happiness which I'm experiencing right now... so there you have it.

I often think and blame myself for the fact that I don't do enough, but I can only offer what I myself have...

We might think that life and love overwhelm us, in fact, the moment when we become aware of them both is the instant in our lives which overwhelms us in a delicate, yet strong way.

I know for sure that I don't own anything here, but I know for sure that I am a blend of life and love.

:)

2011-05-20T02:07:00.001+03:00

What you do with your life is just one-half of the equation.

More importantly is who you're with when you're doing it.

A game one should not play

2011-05-12T13:18:00.000+03:00

My Sunday salad

2011-05-01T17:59:00.000+03:00

I've been a vegetarian for almost one year and a half. I feel good about the change I did for myself and meat is no longer on my mind and not even in my daily diet.

It started as "let me see if I can" and then this whole thing matched with people I met and books I read and I continued, realizing it was a good thing for my body as well as for my spirit.

As long as I feel good about it, there is no harm in it, no tragedy.

I've also met those people whose reactions were: "oh, but it's not healthy for your body to not get animal protein" and I respect their opinions, but I also know my reasons.

The products I still eat, which come from animals, are milk products - cheese and milk.

And sometimes I feel like eating an egg or two, but I don't eat daily. (which reminds me, I forgot about the fact that I have 4 eggs in my fridge, which, sadly, I will have to throw away, because they have expired :P )

But let me get this straight, right now it's not a thing which I deny to myself, like "No, I should keep away from meat, I said I won't be eating it anymore". Not at all ! I can be around people who eat meat, but I don't feel like eating anymore. Maybe you would also not want to know how fried meat or fresh meat smells to me now... it's beyond disgust.

But I can understand there are meat eaters, so that is OK, as long as they feel OK about it.

But now, eating chicken, beef, pork, fish meat is equal to eating my cat. So, no, thank you !

Therefore, I present you my today's salad:

tomatoes, cucumbers, radishes, green onions, sweet corn, alfalfa sprouts, ground almonds, lemon juice, a bit of sun-flower oil - I was out of olive oil :( - black pepper, basil, oregano, green fresh dill and some cheese.

It was lovely.

Easy to prepare and very delicious.

Enjoy !

Shapes, colors and sizes

2011-04-27T23:58:00.000+03:00

We tend to think it's hard or that where we are is not good, that we can't find balance here, but we could had we been THERE. And THERE becomes HERE and the constant chase never ends, the chase for balance, for love, for simple things, because in simple things we find the real essence of life, of ourselves, of God. So, I'm quitting this chase, not in one go, but gradually I am... and it's a hard thing to do, you can be sure, like I have open wounds and I put salt on them.

I want to be here heartfully and when I'll be there I also want to be heartfully.

If I divide myself with sick thoughts, what unity can I create for my universe to come to life ?

You might think that only BIG deeds matter and you are free to think this as long as you wish,

as long as you feel it's good for you, as long as it doesn't end up hurting you.

Take a step back, look at the whole background and SEE it for yourself.

Nobody else can see, feel, taste, smell for you, just YOU.

Life challenges you just to bring what's best out of you, life wants you to be brave and stop fearing it. Life is not your enemy, but your best friend in all shapes, colors and sizes.

Don't you miss hearing more and more the words: "I LOVE YOU" ?

I do.

the key to life

2011-04-22T23:15:00.000+03:00

For now...

2011-04-10T20:46:00.000+03:00

I was thinking of what I am most afraid of in life... Is it life ? Is it death ? Maybe I am afraid of taxes or of bugs and snakes, or maybe earthquakes and wars... nuclear weapons, cancer and HIV... maybe I am afraid of heights, of drowning or burning alive.

To be honest I am afraid of all those things mentioned above, but I feel that's not the answer.

Lately, I've been failing a lot in things... social matters or keeping a schedule, or a promise.

I feel lost and most of all I've been feeling that whatever I do, satisfaction is not there... joy is for a second, smiles too. "This is not me !" - my inner voice said and I thought "Yeah, I guess you are right !", but then I remembered that I no longer know who I am truthfully. Am I this and that and all the trillion things surrounding me, all the many books I'm reading, all the friends and people I know, all the schools I've been to and all the exams I've passed ? Am I the clothes I was wearing 5 years ago and the clothes I'm wearing now ? Am I the music I listen and food I eat ?

And the answer came calmly: "No, you are not."

But, of course, frustrated as I was, I asked: "Then who the hell am I ?", but no answer came, but complete silence, complete stillness of life and I felt like somebody was mocking me,

so I asked again in a louder voice: "Who the hell am I ?", the answer was the same...

And so, while thinking of the thing I am most afraid of, the answer came in the back of my mind and sat gracefully, waiting for me to become aware of it and I did.

The thing I am most afraid of is myself.

I am afraid I might hurt myself, disrespect myself, lie to myself, hate myself, disappoint myself. I can be my greatest enemy, if I do not pay close attention to myself.

So who am I ? I yet don't know for sure, but I do know that I can be my best friend or my greatest enemy, for now...

Mirrors

2011-04-05T15:48:00.000+03:00

Nothing changes in some, they say words, but words are nothing, words are the nothing which is found inside their bodies, the nothing of which they believe is in fact something. Little do they know.

No matter the experiences people have in life, there is always the common ground in them which never suffers any transformation. They add or leave things, they add people or forget about people, they cry and laugh, witness disasters, witness death of all sorts, pains of all types, they crawl, they beg, they party, they eat this and then eat that, they grow fat, grow slim, fall in love, fall out of love, have sex, have more sex, they change their clothes, their styles, their jobs, their houses, cars, cellphones, clubs, bikes, friends, haircuts, colors... they read magazines, they give up on reading magazines, they read books, write blogs, launch websites, buy CDs, listen to music, change what music they listen, they go to gym, they go to Opera, they do Extreme sports, they get sick, they have surgeries, they have babies, they lose family and friends... they make promises, they take promises back, they lie, they lie more, they state they want the truth from people, they judge themselves, they judge people more, they blame, they blame a lot, they change religions, Gods, dogmas, laws, cities, countries, they run, they walk they run away... they kill, they get killed... they act, they play, they sing, they give speeches, they save the world, they crush the world, they bomb, they do gardening, they give birth, they have their first kiss, first love affair, first night of sex, they cheat others, they cheat on themselves... BUT that common ground never changes in them, that useless pattern on which they always function, doing all the things said above and more, that pattern never changes and no matter what they state about their lives, no matter how rich or poor, famous or anonymous, regardless of all the things mind could think of, people never change, but they enjoy thinking that they are better than others, when all they see in others is themselves.

Many lives - poem by Upanishada

2011-04-04T09:45:00.000+03:00

One day I'll go,

You'll see me no more.

One day I'll go,

I'll be less, but more.

One day I'll go,

No cry, no sore,

'Cos I'll only go

By coming back for more.

by Upanishada - 4th April 2011

Jiddu Krishnamurti

2011-04-01T10:02:00.000+03:00

„Trebuie să cunoaştem ceea ce suntem, şi nu ceea ce vrem noi să fim. Căci numai ceea ce există poate fi transformat, şi nu ceea ce dorim noi să existe.”

„Dacă doar auziţi adevărul, fără să-l trăiţi, atunci viaţa voastră va fi plină de confuzii lamentabile.”

„Fiecare trebuie să se transforme pe sine însuşi pentru a putea transforma lumea”

„Doresc să eliberez omul de condiţionările şi de fricile sale. Nu vreau să fondez o nouă religie. Însăşi ideea de a conduce pe cineva este antisocială şi anti-spirituală. Eu nu vreau să învăţ nimic, pe nimeni. Nu sunt adeptul unei credinţe. Vreau doar să vă arăt calea prin care se poate ajunge la adevărata cunoaştere. Dacă fiecare din noi reuşeşte să se transforme pe sine însuşi, va reuşi să transforme apoi lumea, fiind capabil să arate şi altora calea, declanşând astfel o reacţie în lanţ.”

„Trebuie să căutăm adevărul singuri, în noi înşine. Lumea începe cu noi. Dacă întreaga noastră existenţă nu facem altceva decât să-i imităm pe cei pe care i-am ales drept modele, atunci nu ne va mai rămâne loc pentru adevărata realitate şi pentru Adevărul Suprem. Să ne eliberăm de ceea ce credem că am cunoaşte!”

„Întreaga mea viaţă am luptat pentru a mă elibera: de prietenii mei, de cărţile mele de problemele de serviciu. Voi trebuie să vă luptaţi pentru aceeaşi libertate. Trebuie să existe o revoluţie continuă în interiorul vostru.”

„Sistemul nostru educativ se bazează pe ceea ce trebuie să gândim, nu pe modul în care ar trebui să gândim. Trebuie să-i învăţăm pe cei tineri cum să-şi folosească mintea cu ajutorul meditaţiei”.

Natural. The new fake.

2011-03-30T17:48:00.000+03:00

It seems to me that there is a huge trend in BEING NATURAL. As if nature is the newest discovery of the century. You got to eat natural, drink natural, every lotion and cream has a natural product or extract... natural orange juice, natural cheese, natural everything.

What does this show ?

Have THEY been faking stuff until now?

Or is BEING NATURAL the new WAY on how to sell WHAT'S FAKE ?

Even about make-up, people say it's natural. How come, when you use products to enhance beauty or to hide imperfections ? What's natural in that ? Just say you use make-up products, don't tell me you use make-up to bring out the natural beauty.

So everyone is concerned about being NATURAL, but all this concern is for nothing, when we're polluting our air, seas, grounds... What's natural in that?

We keep our houses clean but we don't care about how we throw away garbage or where.

Don't we just love big words, essenceless words ?

Cele 12 porunci ale lui Iisus Hristos din Evanghelia Vieţii Desăvârşite

2011-03-23T09:37:00.000+02:00

1. Să nu iei viaţa niciunei creaturi de dragul plăcerii tale, nici pentru profit, nici s-o chinui.

2. Să nu furi bunurile nimănui, nici să aduni pământuri şi bogăţii pentru tine, mai mult decât ai nevoie şi îţi este de folos.

3. Să nu mănânci carne, nici să nu bei sângele vreunei creaturi moarte, şi nimic altceva care face rău sănătăţii sau simţurilor tale.

4. Să nu faci căsnicii necurate, în care nu există iubire şi sănătate, să nu te perverteşti pe tine însuţi sau să nu perverteşti vreo altă creatură care a fost făcută pură de către Cel Sfânt.

5. Să nu depui mărturie mincinoasă împotriva nimănui, nici să înşeli cu bună ştiinţă pe nimeni, printr-o minciună pentru a-i face rău.

6. Să nu faci altora ceea ce tu nu vrei ca alţii să îţi facă.

7. Să te închini unului etern, Lui Dumnezeu Tatăl din Cer, in Care sunt toate lucrurile şi să adori Fiinţa Sa Sfântă.

8. Să-ţi respecţi părinţii pe pământ, care au grijă de tine şi pe toţi învăţătorii dreptăţii.

9. Să îngrijeşti şi să protejezi pe cei slabi şi să iei apărarea celor care sunt oprimaţi şi tuturor creaturilor care suferă răul.

10. Să munceşti cu mâinile tale lucrurile care sunt bune şi potrivite pentru tine; aşa încât să mănânci fructele pământului şi să trăieşti viaţă lungă pe pământ.

11. Să te purifici zilnic şi să te odihneşti a şaptea zi de la muncă, păstrând sfinte sărbătorile lui Dumnezeu.

12. Să faci altora binele pe care tu ai vrea ca alţii să ţi-l facă ţie.

Cronobiologia - Orele si fiziologia organismului uman

2011-03-22T11:50:00.000+02:00

Vechii învăţaţi chinezi cunoşteau orarul organelor. Organismul îţi trimite întreaga energie către anumite părţi ale sale, la un moment dat.

Ora 6

Este momentul trezirii organismului. Chiar daca încă moţăim, corpul nostru a intrat în priză, s-a apucat de producţia de hormoni. Zahărul din sânge, aminoacizii si hormonii acţionează la capacitate maximă. La această ora trebuie să se evite alcoolul şi nicotina.

Ora 7

Inima intră în viteza a cincea. Începe producţia de hormoni sexuali. Cine preferă sportul facut dimineaţa face o greşeală pentru că inima este suprasolicitată, iar rezultatul este acelaşi. La această oră trebuie luat micul dejun, dar înainte este indicat să bei şi un pahar cu apa, pentru a ajuta digestia.

Ora 8

Organismul tânjeşte după “combustibil”. Din nefericire este şi ora la care au loc cele mai multe infarcte şi accidente vasculare cerebrale. Este ora ideală dacă vreţi să vă faceti o analiză a sângelui. Dacă o amânati pentru altă oră, compozitia sângelui va fi schimbată din cauza stresului.

Ora 9

Organismul receptează cel mai slab senzaţia de durere, este imun faţă de frică. Chimioterapia si injectiile trebuie facute acum, caci nu vor fi complicaţii, iar datorită toleranţei sporite a organismului, şansele de vindecare cresc.

Ora 10

Este ora învaţatului, creierul este cel mai receptiv. Capacitatea de a lua decizii şi de a rezolva probleme este maximă. Temperatura corpului atinge punctul superior. Acum este momentul ideal pentru a pleca la drum cu masina deoarece atenţia şi reflexele sunt sporite.

Ora 11

Corpul nostru îsi arde grasimile. Gurmanzii pot consuma orice dupa pofta inimii. Cu putin înaintea prânzului inima şi circulaţia sanguină se afla în momentul lor de vârf. Evitaţi să mergeţi la un consult cardiologic pentru că medicul cardiolog va poate pune un diagnostic greşit.

Ora 12

S-a dus deja jumătate din zi. Un pui de somn n-ar strica. Organismul este ocupat cu producerea de acizi, iar creierul nu este deloc în formă. Din cauza lipsei de oxigen trebuie să stati în faţa unei ferestre deschise. Stomacul este singurul organ cu adevarat activ. Acesta se pregăteşte pentru a primi mâncarea şi a produce sucul gastric.

Ora 13

Scade atentia, totul este programat pentru digestie. Este ora mesei de prânz urmată de o micărelaxare. Dupa masa de prânz, bila începe să acţioneze, digerând şi absorbind lipidele din fluxul intestinal. Cine are probleme trebuie sa ia medicamentele specifice pentru a o activa.

Ora 14

Forta vitală este foarte scazuta. Organismul trebuie să se odihnească.

Ora 15

Creierul se pune din nou în mişcare. Ne putem continua în fortă activitatea. Atenţia şi puterea de concentrare sunt în formă maxima. Daca aveţi de lucru pentru acasă acum este momentul.

Ora 16

Trezirea creierului este urmată de revitalizarea corpului, dispus să intre în funcţiune. Este ora ideală pentru un program de exerciţii fizice. Plamânii şi căile respiratorii sunt larg deschise. Faceţi o plimbare în aer liber. La această oră acţionează cel mai bine medicamentele de stomac.

Ora 17

Mâinile simt nevoia să intre în funcţiune. Oamenii de afaceri au o putere de convingere neobişnuită, pictorii fac minuni, scamatorii se simt în formă. Sportivii ştiu deja, cine se antrenează, sau concurează obţine acum cele mai bune rezultate. La această oră se înregistrează cele mai multe recorduri sportive.

Ora 18

Este ora activităţilor culturale. Simţurile sunt foarte ascuţite în acest moment al zilei. Papilele gustative şi simţurile olfactive receptează nuanţele cele mai fine. Este momentul de maximă activitate în ceea ce priveşte creşterea unghiilor şi a părului. Corpul este însă puţin obosit. Nervii reactionează la durere sau la furie.

Ora 19

Organismul este cel mai dispus să accepte medicamentele, iar pielea tânjeşte după îngrijire, porii pielii se deschid şi asimileaza produsele cosmetice. Dar atenţie, scade tensiunea.

Ora 20

Cresc capacităţile vizuale. Este momentul să alegeţi materialele şi modelele vestimentare. Ultima masă a zilei nu trebuie luată mai târziu de ora 20:00, căci corpul reacţionează deja într-un ritm redus. Ficatul înregistrază o activitate intensă, astfel băuturile alcoolice fiind mai bine tolerate la această oră.

Ora 21

Scad temperatura corpului şi metabolismul. Nu se mai asimilează niciun aliment. Mâncarea ramâne nedigerată sau digerată pe jumatate. Doar stomacul şi ficatul mai lucreaza.

Ora 22

Ficatul “trage pe dreapta”. Stop fumatului, căci în pauza ce survine în funcţionarea ficatului, organismul absoarbe toata nicotina nefiltrată.

Ora 23

Începem sa visam cu ochii deschişi. De la această oră corpul se linisteşte. Nervul parasimpatic responsabil cu acest lucru reduce schimbul de substanţe, tensiunea, temperatura, activitatea cardiacă la minimum. Producţia de cortisol, hormonul stresului, este oprită. Dacă vrem să fim frumoase trebuie să ne culcam la această oră pentru că acum începe procesul de regenerare a celulelor pielii.

Ora 24

După perioada maximă din activitatea sa, organismul se autoregleaza la minimum pe scala sa de funcţionare şi se programează "pentru mâine". Este obligatoriu ca această ora să ne găsească într-un somn profund.

Noaptea, între orele 2 si 4, toate simţurile sunt în stare de inhibiţie. Este momentul catastrofelor de tot felul, a accidentelor rutiere, a naufragiilor şi a accidentelor de muncă.

Între orele 3 si 5 scade tensiunea arteriala. Dimineaţa reţinem mai uşor informaţiile, dar pentru a le pastra în memorie pe termen lung trebuie repetate după-amiaza.

vorbe înţelepte

2011-03-21T14:59:00.000+02:00

Este foarte dificil să faci binele. Toată viaţa mi-am pus întrebarea: "Care este cel mai bun mod de a-i ajuta pe oameni?" Şi am văzut că dacă într-o zi li se dă hrană, a doua zi le este din nou foame, deoarece stomacul este o gaură care nu se umple niciodată şi care cere în fiecare zi... Dacă li se dau haine, după câtva timp ele sunt uzate şi trebuiesc înlocuite. Dacă li se dă o casă, şi ea la fel, într-o zi sau alta, trebuie reparată. Dacă li se dau bani, ei vor fi foarte curând cheltuiţi... şi, dacă aţi avut câteva afaceri cu oamenii, ştiţi că ei nu sunt niciodată satisfăcuţi. Dacă le daţi o casă, ei se întreabă de ce nu le daţi un palat, iar dacă le daţi milioane, ei sunt furioşi pentru că nu sunt miliarde. Este deci imposibil să-i ajuţi pe oameni în acest mod: sau acest ajutor nu este niciodată definitiv, sau oamenii sunt nemulţumiţi pentru că aşteaptă totdeauna mai mult. Atunci, cum să-i ajuţi?

Să luăm cazul unui om care ar avea o greutate de transportat. Această greutate este foarte mare şi el abia poate să o ridice. Ori, iată că voi sunteţi aici: luaţi greutatea pe umerii voştri, şi asta este! Ei da, dar zilele următoare acest om mai avea greutăţi de transportat şi, cum nu veţi putea fără încetare cu el, ce va face? Presupuneţi acum că aveţi un secret pentru a transporta greutăţile fără a fi strivit şi chiar pentru a le transporta cu bucurie: voi îi comunicaţi acest secret şi, după aceea, toată viaţa el va putea să continue să se descurce singur. Atunci, pentru a face bine oamenilor nu este preferabil de a le da un mijloc să se descurce fără a avea întotdeauna nevoie de ajutorul altcuiva? Bineînţeles, este mai bine, mult mai bine. Şi acest mijloc este Lumina Ştiinţei iniţiatice, pentru că în orice circumstanţă această Ştiinţă dă o soluţie.

Iată de ce toată viaţa am lucrat fără întrerupere pentru a găsi această Lumină, pentru că ştiu că atunci când vă voi da-o, veţi putea înfrunta toate dificultăţile din voi lipsindu-vă de mine, de prezenţa mea. Fără Lumină, nu numai că binele pe care‑l faci nu va fi durabil, dar oamenii nu vor fi nici măcar recunoscători. Ceea ce trebuie să le daţi este un element spiritual care se gravează în ei. Mulţi ignoră aceasta. Când vor să facă bine, în loc să înţeleagă faptul că pot să dea acest element spiritual, care nu se va şterge niciodată, ei dau ceva material. Nu se ştie încă să se ofere ce este esenţial; se dau tot felul de lucruri: bijuterii, maşini, crezând că-l puteţi face pe celălalt fericit. Ei nu, trebuie să învăţaţi să daţi un element esenţial.

Dacă voi credeţi că eu n-am nici un fel de idee despre dificultăţile voastre, vă înşelaţi. Eu le cunosc, deoarece şi eu am trecut pe aici, le-am trăit şi-mi este suficient să privesc pe cineva pentru a cunoaşte toate probele pe care le-a traversat, deoarece ele sunt înscrise pe faţa sa. Veţi spune: "Dar nu aveţi nici un fel de compasiune! De ce nu ne ajutaţi?" Ah! şi aici trebuie să vă dau explicaţii.

Chiar dacă aş avea toate puterile, Cerul nu mi-ar permite să vă îndepărtez dificultăţile. Voi sunteţi cei care trebuie să faceţi eforturile: să învăţaţi, să exersaţi, pentru că aceasta vă va servi pentru eternitate. Dacă aşteptaţi ca cineva să facă totul în locul vostru, să vă îndepărteze suferinţele, bolile voastre, mizeriile voastre, este posibil: pe Pământ sunt fiinţe capabile să o facă, dar o fiinţă înţeleptă şi inteligentă nu o va face niciodată, pentru că ea ştie că nu este un mod de a vă ajuta, ci din contră. Vă va da, deci, mai degrabă metode, cunoştinţe, dar va aştepta ca voi să fiţi cel care să le aplicaţi, pentru că în acest moment voi sunteţi cel care creşteţi, care vă întăriţi şi aceasta este adevărata evoluţie.

Din nefericire, oamenii care s-au obişnuit să nu conteze decât pe elemente materiale, exterioare lor (maşini, aparate, medicamente), nu se gândesc niciodată să utilizeze posibilităţile cu care Creatorul i-a dotat. Iar când întâlnesc un Maestru, ei au exact aceeaşi atitudine: în loc să înveţe să dezvolte, graţie lui, facultăţile lor spirituale, vor conta pe Maestru ca el să facă totul în locul lor: Maestrul este cel care trebuie să-i instruiască, să-i purifice, să-i vindece, să găsească soluţii la toate problemele lor, să-i facă fericiţi şi bogaţi. Da, această atitudine de a aştepta totul din exterior este atât de răspândită încât chiar şi spiritualiştii au adoptat-o. Într-un Maestru ei caută un om cumsecade care va veni să-i depaneze, să-i salveze şi, mai ales, care se va încărca cu greutăţile lor. Ei da, un măgar, da! Analizaţi-vă şi veţi vedea dacă nu este adevărat.

Mulţi din cei care vin în Învăţământul nostru aşteaptă totul de la mine: ca eu să le dau ştiinţa, inteligenţa şi toate virtuţile... ca eu să-i fac bogaţi, sănătoşi şi ca eu să-i însor; dacă nu o fac, ei sunt decepţionaţi şi-mi poartă sâmbete. Ba da, şi există chiar oameni pe care nu-i cunosc şi care îmi scriu pentru a mă ruga să le găsesc un soţ sau o soţie. Cum să-i fac eu să înţeleagă că eu nu mă ocup de aceasta? Este un domeniu foarte delicat, unde cel care se angajează trebuie să-şi ia responsabilităţile sale. Nu este rolul unui Maestru de a-i însura pe oameni, sau de a-i face să divorţeze. Bineînţeles, în anumite cazuri, când tinerii fraţi şi surori pe care-i cunosc vin să-mi ceară sfatul, eu îl dau... şi încă nu întotdeauna; este prea delicat.

Vedeţi ce fel de mentalitate au oamenii! Ei aşteaptă totul de la mine: chiar şi căsătoriile. Iar când vor avea copii, se gândesc că eu trebuie să invit Îngerii şi Arhanghelii să vină să se încarneze lângă ei. Ei bine, nu, nu aceasta este sarcina mea. Din partea mea, ei trebuie doar să se aştepte să primească lovituri pentru a învăţa să se descurce. Chiar dacă aş avea puterea de a le îndeplini toate dorinţele, eu nu aş face-o, pentru că nu în acest mod i-aş ajuta. Da, chiar dacă aş avea puterea de a vindeca toate bolile, nu numai că nu le-aş vindeca, dar le-aş mai adăuga şi încă altele!... Sunteţi indignaţi? Da, dar în acelaşi timp eu le voi da mijloacele de a le învinge pe toate. Deoarece dacă îi vindec de bolile lor, ei vor continua să facă excese şi nebunii; din nou vor deveni bolnavi, iar când nu voi mai fi aici, vor rămâne bolnavi pentru eternitate.

Vedeţi, nu este o soluţie. Deci, eu v‑o spun, pentru mine soluţia este să vă adaug şi alte greutăţi învăţându-vă să deveniţi mai puternici şi mai rezistenţi.

Discipolul nu trebuie să dorească nici pentru el, nici chiar pentru apropiaţii lui ca viaţa să fie uşoară. Majoritatea părinţilor şi mamelor doresc pentru copiii lor facilitatea, opulenţa, succesul; ei sunt, în mod evident, împinşi de iubirea lor, dar este o iubire stupidă, care nu are în vedere adevărata evoluţie a acestor copii. Bineînţeles, eu nu spun că părinţii trebuie să dorească suferinţe pentru copiii lor, nu; de altfel ei nici măcar nu trebuie să se preocupe de această problemă. Dorinţa lor trebuie să fie doar una: copiii lor să devină binefăcători ai umanităţii, şi Cerul va decide prin ce experienţe îi va face să treacă pentru a-i conduce până acolo. Poate le va trimite boli, inamici, oprobiu, dar prea puţin contează, ei vor merge departe, foarte departe, atât de departe că nu va rămâne nici un fel de urmă din aceste dificultăţi, nici măcar o amintire. Părinţi îşi iubesc copiii, dar ce vor deveni aceşti copii dacă sunt cruţaţi de toate dificultăţile? Se vor abrutiza, asta este totul.

Eu, să o ştiţi, nu mă ocup de bolile voastre, de problemele voastre, de divorţurile voastre. Dacă viaţa vă face să treceţi pe aici, este pentru că există probabil o raţiune karmică. Eu mă ocup doar de mijlocul prin care să vă fac liberi, mari şi puternici, oricare ar fi probele prin care treceţi. Eu nu sunt aici pentru a vă vindeca, a vă consola, a vă rezolva problemele (de altfel eu nu am timp, mi-ar trebui o eternitate pentru a mă ocupa de problemele voastre, şi ce probleme!) dar eu sunt obligat să vă stimulez, să vă arăt cel mai înalt ideal, deoarece, dorind să realizaţi cel mai înalt ideal, veţi putea rezolva totul. Pe când dacă eu vă evit toate probele, veţi rămâne totdeauna slabi, vulnerabili şi atunci ce veţi face dacă într-o zi nu voi mai fi aici?

Se arăta ieri la televizor că, din ce în ce mai mulţi oameni, merg la clarvăzători, mediumi, pentru a rezolva problemele lor de bani, de sănătate, de iubire, sau pentru a se face exorcizări asupra lor, descântece. Este extraordinar! Ei înşişi nu fac nimic pentru a învinge dificultăţile, pentru a vedea mai clar, pentru a se întări; este altcineva care trebuie să facă această treabă în locul loc. Dar, admiţând chiar că cineva ajunge să le rupă vraja, ei sunt atât de slabi, că un altul îi va vrăji din nou. Toţi nu se gândesc decât să meargă să găsească pe cineva pentru a-i vindeca, a-i controla, a-i linişti. De aceea rămân ignoranţi, slabi, vulnerabili.

Ei bine, aici, nu este aşa. Aici, nu sunteţi consolaţi, nu sunteţi uşuraţi, nu sunteţi vindecaţi, ci vi se dau mijloace, arme, metode, pentru ca să fiţi voi cei care să deveniţi inteligenţi, puternici, de neînvins. Şi este mult mai bine. Dar cum voi căutaţi facilitatea, găsiţi că aici nu este nimic şi nimeni care să vă poată ajuta. Ei bine, aici vă înşelaţi! Dacă cineva poate într-adevăr să vă ajute, şi nu pentru o zi sau două, ci pentru eternitate, acela sunt eu. Doar că voi nu-mi cereţi decât un singur lucru: să deschideţi gura şi să înghiţiţi remediul; pentru că vă este indiferent dacă este doar un paleativ. Când veţi înţelege că trebuie să învăţaţi să vă descurcaţi voi înşivă ?

Aici vi se dau toate mijloacele, încercaţi cel puţin să vă serviţi de ele! Dar dacă cel mai mare Maestru face o minune pentru a vă vindeca şi a vă proteja cât timp va dura aceasta? Asta depinde voi: dacă ştiţi să vă serviţi de Lumină şi de cheile pe care vi le dă, aici, da, este definitiv, deoarece atunci voi înşivă, sufletul vostru, Spiritul vostru, este cel care intră în acţiune.

Cunosc natura umană: vouă v-ar place să mă auziţi spunând: "Contaţi pe mine; vă voi salva din toate pericolele; vă voi vindeca de toate bolile, vă voi face fericiţi". Ei bine, nu, şi dacă cineva v-o spune înseamnă că el are interesul să vă înşele. Vă spun: contaţi pe Marile Adevăruri pe care vi le dau; acceptaţi-le în voi, întăriţi-le, însufleţiţi-le, hrăniţi-le şi veţi vedea rezultatele. Astăzi am distrus poate câteva din iluziile voastre, dar pentru Adevăr, pentru binele vostru am făcut‑o.- Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov

I

2011-03-09T12:56:00.000+02:00

I don't know what's good or best for me. I could only say there are many things good or best for me, not just one... but if someone asked me to do a list of all these things, I wouldn't do it, because I am scared of making lists and I dislike making lists... at least for myself. It's like, I finish writing the list and then look at it and feel fear and question myself: "Is this all?".

It's true, I don't need huge things, small things can make me happy as well... in fact, most of the times, the small things made me happier and more joyful... most of the times I miss the little things in life.

I can't yet voice out everything I want, because I don't feel ready... I just wish people could tell just by looking at me. I am not weak, neither am I strong. I am not beautiful, neither am I ugly.

I am not perfect, neither am I imperfect. I am nothing, but I am whole as well.

I am on a journey, just like everyone else.

some words

2011-03-07T23:17:00.000+02:00

Meditaţie personală

2011-03-04T00:50:00.000+02:00

Dumnezeu este în tot şi-n toate, asta trebuie înţeles când spunem despre el că este "atot" - atotputernic, atotvăzător, atotştiutor, etc. Nu înseamnă că Dumnezeu te priveşte de pe un nor, din cer, ci că Dumnezeu se manifestă peste tot, în tot şi-n toate, de la pietre, la râuri, la animale, plante, oameni. Simplul fapt că tu eşti înseamnă că Dumnezeu pulsează în tine.

De cele mai multe ori, îi vorbesc lui Dumnezeu prin vocea mea lăuntrică, cumva sunt trei voci - mintea (care turuie neîncetat), sufletul (eu) şi acel sine lăuntric, mai adânc decât însuşi sufletul, ca un fel de supraconştiinţă a sufletului meu - ei bine, despre acest sine lăuntric pot spune, pentru că asta simt, că este vocea lui Dumnezeu.

Relaţia mea cu divinitatea e una relaxată, divinul mi-e prieten şi ştiu că pot vorbi cu el sau că îi pot vorbi oricând, iar răspunsurile vin - pe căi directe sau indirecte - încerc să fiu atentă la tot ce se petrece în jurul meu şi cu mine.

Mai spun rugăciuni, am trei rugăciuni, învăţate din timpul şcolii, pe care le spun, uneori, seara, înainte de a adormi... dar nu mereu, căci deseori îmi vin în minte mecanic, iar relaţia mea cu Dumnezeu nu vreau să fie una lipsită de respect... vreau să fie şi originală şi cât mai intimă, personală, căci aşa simt că trebuie să fie. Doar nu faci dragoste cu persoana iubită în piaţa publică şi nu te vezi cu un prieten ca să reproduci ca un papagal o conversaţie avută cu un alt prieten - ar fi o lipsă de sens, de logică, de bun-simţ, de respect şi mai ales de sentiment.

Rareori simt nevoia să mă duc la biserică, nu sunt genul de persoană care să se regăsească acolo, nu mă simt relaxată, nu mă simt în comuniune cu mine şi nici cu Dumnezeu... simt sărbătorile sfinte în felul meu, aşa cum pe Dumnezeu îl percep şi-l simt în felul meu. Şi nu am nevoie de vreun element ajutător pentru a intra în legătură cu el, doar îmi deschid sufletul şi atunci el este, iar eu sunt acasă şi e bine.

Ce mă aduce cel mai aproape de Dumnezeu ?

După mine, "biserica" lui Dumnezeu e natura, e pământul în virginitatea lui iniţială; munţii, marea, pădurile, zborurile păsărilor, norii, ploaia, ninsoarea, tunetele, fulgerele, vântul - ele toate sunt casa lui Dumnezeu şi după cum se vede, noi toţi avem loc în casa lui.

Casa lui e şi casa noastră.

Pentru mine, meditaţia mea înseamnă dans - când dansez din tot sufletul, sunt eu, liberă, sunt mişcare pură, trăire intensă, viaţă care pur şi simplu îşi urmează fluxul natural. Când dansez, nu mai aud nimic altceva decât muzica şi simt cum cobor şi cobor în mine, apoi urc şi tot urc, explodez în mişcare, pentru a mă reîntoarce la bază. Devin doar mişcare, trupul este, dar eu mă observ din alt unghi, ca şi cum mă pot privi din exterior. E magnific ! E eliberator !

La final, când corpul se simte istovit, sticlirea din ochii mei este cea care-mi spune că sufletul meu şi-a primit satisfacţia, că a fost "acasă", că şi-a primit iubirea.

În acelaşi timp, cred că dau înapoi energie, un fel de mulţumire, un fel de ofrandă...

Există numeroase modalităţi de a medita, probabil că într-un moment al vieţii mele voi încerca şi-o metodă diferită, dar de ceva ani buni şi încă în prezent, dansul reuşeşte să mă transpună într-un spaţiu numai al meu, unde mă pot manifesta din simpla plăcere de a mă manifesta şi nimic mai mult. A te simţi viu e cea mai mare plăcere şi este răspunul la întrebarea: "Dumnezeu există ?". Găseşte-ţi calea şi vei afla şi răspunsul tău.

Tinerii români sunt superficiali

2011-03-03T10:38:00.000+02:00

Zilele trecute am văzut un mare panou publicitar pe care scria "Tinerii români sunt superficiali", o campanie promovată de www.astaeromania.ro.

Când am citit acele cuvinte, am simţit indignare, ceva în mine a tresărit, s-a revoltat, gândul care mi-a venit instantaneu în minte a fost "Nu este adevărat !". Mi s-a părut crud, crunt, ca în ţara mea cineva să-mi spună că sunt superficială, mi s-a părut crunt să văd cum de-ai noştri aruncă nămol în de-ai lor... Oare cei care au gândit campania, care au postat acel panou publicitar, nu sunt superficiali ?

Pentru a spune despre cineva că este în vreun fel trebuie ca tu, automat, să fii altfel, ca şi cum priveşti din exterior, eşti un observator şi spui despre X că are Z calităţi şi Y defecte...

Aş fi vrut să spun că eu cunoscut mulţi tineri care nu sunt superficiali, care au vise mari, dorinţe mari şi suflete pe măsura calităţilor lor, care au făcut lucruri pe cont propriu, care sunt talentaţi şi au învăţat în şcoli româneşti (fie ele aşa cum or fi) şi care citesc şi se informează...

Care pădure nu are uscături ? Care ?

Că imediat după ce am gândit toate acestea, un tânăr a aruncat pe jos ambalajul de la un cheeseburger, fără să-i pese, sau, din contră, având un gest de satisfacţie chiar, e ceva ce nu-mi pot explica... probabil că aşa face şi acasă... şi imediat gândurile mi-au zis: "Vezi, uite dovada !", dar am încercat să mă calmez, ştiind că în lumea asta există şi bune şi rele, ştiind că există oameni frumoşi şi oameni urâţi. Dar să generalizezi aşa ceva, spunând că tinerii români sunt superficiali, e ca şi cum te-ai împuşca singur în picior... mai bine ne-am da foc singuri... ceva de genul acesta. Există excepţii, iar acele excepţii nu se numără doar pe câteva degete de la mâini.

God

2011-03-02T10:00:00.000+02:00

It's strange that God doesn't mind expressing Himself/Herself in all the religions of the world,

while people still cling to the notion that their way is the only right way.

Whatever you try to say about God, someone will take offense, even if you say everyone's love

of God is right for them. For me the form God takes is not the most important thing. What's most important is the essence. My songs and dances are outlines for Him to come in and fill. I hold out the form. She puts in the sweetness.

I've looked up at the night sky and beheld the stars so intimately close, it was as if my grandmother had made them for me.

"How rich, how sumptuous," I thought. In that moment I saw God in His creation.

I could as easily have seen Her in the beauty of a rainbow, the grace of a deer bounding through a meadow, the truth of a father's kiss. But for me the sweetest contact with God has no form.

I close my eyes, look within, and enter a deep soft silence.

The infinity of God's creation embraces me. We are one.

- written by Michael Jackson in the book "Dancing the Dream"

We do not - poem by Mirabai

2011-02-27T00:56:00.001+02:00

We Do Not

We do not get a human life
Just for the asking.
Birth in a human body
Is the reward for good deeds
In former births.

Life waxes and wanes imperceptibly,
It does not stay long.
The leaf that has once fallen
Does not return to the branch.
Behold the Ocean of Transmigration.

With its swift, irresistible tide.
O Lal Giridhara, O pilot of my soul,
Swiftly conduct my barque to the further shore.
Mira is the slave of Lal Giridhara.
She says: Life lasts but a few days only

bla bla bla...

2011-02-24T00:38:00.000+02:00

There is too much snow, it's too cold and there are too many people walking like crazy ones down the streets.

Sometimes feet carry me without me being aware and it just feels like I wake up being where I was suppose to be, when I left home... like "Oh, I'm already here".

It's too cold in the room and though it's crowded with many things I own - from furniture, to books, to boxes - at times, it feels empty, it feels lonely... home is quiet now, the keyboard is the only noise.

I was born in august, I'm a fire sign, so I miss a lot the warmth of the sun... it's like I need to feed myself with sun rays... You know, I like those moments during summer time, when at noon, when it's terribly hot, people stay indoor, streets are empty, like a desert, and you can feel a warm calm wind... I usually sit in the balcony, sipping cold lemonade and enjoying the silence which this city rarely has. But I love how the trees look, so green, so full of life, they look fat because of all the leaves and you can tell that they feel good.

Oh, I'm wearing too many clothes, it feels like I'm not breathing properly, like my whole body is suffocated.

I'll go to bed... nothing else to do... Tomorrow, new day, new possibilities.

Yes, make the best out of each day !

PS: I have no idea why I wrote all that I wrote... I guess mind wanted to talk through fingers.

Thank you !

2011-02-22T00:16:00.000+02:00

Thank you for the good laughs I had today !

Thank you for the persons I met in my life, thank you for the persons who are now in my life and thank you for the persons who will come into my life !

Thank you for my family !

Thank you for being mentally and physically healthy ! I always forget I have two perfect hands, two perfect legs, two perfect eyes, two perfect ears, 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect toes and so on... I thank you for the material body that I received !

Thank you for waking me up from a deep "sleep" and for sending me on a journey of which I never thought I would end up doing... it's a bumpy road at times, but it's a great ride, to be honest !

Thank you for the sun and for the moon, for this Earth, thank you for the sea, the mountains, the fields, the hills, the rivers and the fish, the birds and all other animals ! Thank you for my cat !

Thank you for music ! (I don't know what I would have done without it, honestly !)

Thank you for dance ! ( I don't know what I would have done without it, honestly !)

Thank you for today I had breakfast, lunch and dinner, and snacks in between ! I love food !

Thank you for all the moments when I said "I can't go on", but despite my words, I did go on.

Thank you for all the bad moments, ugly moments, sad moments, depression moments ! They were my moments and that was still me and I may not have grown a lot due to them, but I like to believe that at least I know where I want to be and where I don't want to be again.

Thank you for the tears I cried. They made me see myself better.

Thank you for I am able to love and thank you for I am being able to be loved !

Thank you for giving myself to me !

Thank you for you are kind, good, full of love, joy and purity !

From my deepest particle of my soul, I thank you for I feel you and I know you are there, here, everywhere and with me, as well !

here and now

2011-02-15T21:32:00.000+02:00

Just the other days I was feeling the need to start some detox diet, because I feel that tons of energies are blocked within my body, energies which refuse to flow, or which I keep them from flowing. I even said that I shall start this detoxification, then I started feeling a lot of emotions, coming from different places, going towards certain people (more or less) and I started crying because I was feeling overwhelmed and my throat started to hurt badly... yesterday night, it was hurting me like something was stuck in my throat...
So today I woke up feeling worse, having fever and all... I rarely have fever, even if I catch cold, but this time I had it and I knew why, and it wasn't because of some external factor. That's for sure !
Funny thing, cat was in bed with me for the whole day. I guess she felt my misery, but it was nice feeling her in the bed, purring and all :) .

But, despite this whole thing, I do feel happiness, somewhere there, inside my soul.
I still have a lot to learn, but I am open towards learning about life and about people and moreover, about myself.
I've understood that I can feel love and that I can love no matter what, because there are no impediments in loving, only the ones which mind sets, but I want to get out more from the mind and enter more within my soul and it is a nice feeling to experiment.
I guess I do feel sorry for mistakes done in the past or things I did which hurt others and if there was possible, I would do them in a right way, which I found out later on... but I suppose this is how life goes, you learn by living it, not by thinking it.
I feel like I've left myself in many places on the earth and in many people and I also feel like along with me, places and people are walking with me in the perfect timing.
I feel like crying, though I do not know for sure the reason, but I just feel that crying is the best thing which could help me right now, in getting out everything which doesn't belong inside me.
I wish that in some moments in my life I could have understood better my actions and my feelings, I wish that in some moments I wouldn't have rushed, I wouldn't have have said "good bye" in a hurry, I wish that in some moments I would have kissed and hugged for a longer time, I wish, I wish, I wish... but they sound like regrets, which most probably they are. But they have to go away.
I am here and not there, not even a week back, I am not there. I am here.
Join me, here and now.
I love you all !

Life's too short to be afraid

2011-02-12T20:05:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I've rediscovered Robbie Williams's songs, I mean, I went into a huge mood of listening again his albums, so this is what I am doing now. I believe I've always loved his honesty from his music and he is a bad boy with a soft heart, so he is totally my type.
Right now "Strong" is playing in my speakers and... just like with most of his songs, I find myself in his lyrics or at least I can sympathize with what he says on his tracks.
So yes, this is going to be a Robbie Williams night blog post.

It's been kind of strange these last few days, last few weeks... today I honestly felt how my energies just came down, as in they have calmed down after tossing and turning within myself, after all the stomach pain, chest pain, heart pain. I do not know what really meant all this, I believe it was just a phase in my life, because I feel it so.
Today I was watching myself from outside, realizing my talk, my gestures, my heart beats... yes, I have a lot of energy, good energy and I really wish to involve it where it's worth doing so.
I trust myself and it's a nice feeling to have, because I have doubted myself many times, on many occasions, out of no very good reasons.
Yes, spring is on its way ! Today it smelled like this and I enjoyed it to the fullest.
And that wind... that springish, summerish wind... oh, it makes my nostrils dance in the air !

I miss tons of moments... but missing doesn't do me any good, I want moments like those again.
And what I miss the most is...

"Life's too short to be afraid" - Robbie Williams

Punctul de plecare

2011-02-06T13:51:00.000+02:00

"Dacă oamenii ar dansa puţin mai mult, ar cânta puţin mai mult, ar fi mai puţin nebuni, energia lor ar curge mai mult şi, încetul cu încetul, problemele lor ar dispărea." - Osho

"Iubirea ar trebui să fie unul dintre lucrurile cele mai fireşti" - Osho

L-am descoperit pe Osho la data de 13 aprilie 2006 şi spun că l-am descoperit, pentru că nu i-am cumpărat prima carte la recomandarea nimănui. Prima carte care m-a atras în lumea lui Osho a fost "Conştientizarea - cheia pentru a trăi în armonie".

Mi s-a părut incredibilă "întâlnirea" mea cu Osho din simplul motiv că prima carte ce mi-a ajuns în mâini a început să-mi "vorbească" sincer şi limpede, fără ocolişuri, fără metafore inutile... mă rănea pentru că aveam deja rănile şi mă vindeca pentru că treptat mi se ridica un văl de pe ochi... de pe suflet.
Într-un fel, tot ce el a spus de-a lungul vieţii sale, simţisem şi eu, doar că nu am ştiut să ascult acele simţiri, cu atât mai mult, nu am ştiut cum să le transpun în cuvinte.
Aşadar, cu prima carte am avut senzaţia că era scrisă pentru mine, că venise pe lume şi că o cumpărasem doar pentru că mi-era menită... aveam sentimentul că descoperisem un mare secret... Treptat, am cumpărat multe alte cărţi marca Osho şi l-am descoperit pe Osho, în timp ce m-am descoperit şi pe mine. Cărţile lui au fost adevărate şedinţe de terapie pentru mine şi nu pot decât să mă bucur că MOMENTUL a fost de-o aşa natură, încât eu am ajuns să-l "văd" pe Osho la o tarabă obişnuită de cărţi.
De atunci, drumul meu spiritual a început să-mi deschidă noi orizonturi, atât lăuntrice, cât şi exterioare... şi am pornit într-o călătorie, în care şi-acum mă aflu :) alături de oameni, cărţi, experienţe, momente...
Aş putea spune că Osho, pentru o perioadă a vieţii mele, mi-a fost mentor, iar mai departe am plecat pe picioarele mele, din dorinţa de a afla mai multe despre mine şi despre lumea în care mă desfăşor.

Cumva, prin cărţile citite, a trebuit să fac un ocol, pentru a ajunge înapoi pe meleagurile mele, pentru a putea descoperi spiritualitatea de acasă şi din ţara mea, pentru a dori să înţeleg
cine am fost noi, ca să înţeleg prezentul.
Probabil că în 2006, nu m-ar fi interesat să citesc "Dacia Preistorică" de Densuşianu, dacă nu aş fi început de undeva, cumva...
Azi înţeleg mai bine unele aspecte ale vieţii, sunt, probabil, cu un procent sau două, mai deschisă şi mai înţelegătoare, dar important este că sunt pe acest drum şi mă voi bucura de el, până la final.
E important să-ţi găseşti punctul de plecare, apoi te desfăşori ca un mosor.

"În viaţă, nimic nu poate fi întemniţat. Trebuie să trăieşti deschis, să laşi să se întâmple tot felul de experienţe, şi să fii recunoscător atâta timp cât durează" - Osho.

order he does make

2011-01-31T23:21:00.000+02:00

A small sparkle
pulsating somewhere in the dark.
A small tremble
preparing to unleash and to rebel
out
loud.
It's dimensions moving up, down,
left, right...
Such a beautiful sight !
The darkness once mocked it,
once laughed about it,
didn't believe it.
But watch how the small sparkle
becomes brighter,
turns lighter,
a fire burning faster,
warmer than the Sun and the solar plexus.
See how the tremble turns into a quake !
Watch how from chaos
Order he does make...

by Upanishada

Unde am fost până acum ?

2011-01-30T16:03:00.001+02:00

Uitasem de tine, nu mai ştiam sigur cine erai.
Mergând pe stradă, te priveam, te analizam şi-ţi puneam multe întrebări, la care nu primeam răspuns, nu pentru că nu ai fi ştiut ce să-mi răspunzi (deşi, era posibilă şi varianta asta), ci mai mult pentru că nici măcar nu-mi auzeai glasul, de parcă ne despărţea un geam securizat, de parcă vorbeam la pereţi.
Dar într-o zi, în geamul ăla securizat, a apărut o fisură şi mi-am dat seama că era din cauza vocii mele, care urla şi urla la tine, aşa că am început să urlu mai tare, din toţi rărunchii, din toţi plămânii şi vedeam cum fisura se făcea mai mare şi mai mare... Şi mi-am spus în gând: "Gata, am început să câştig teren ! Trebuie să mă agit mai mult !"... Ştiam că ziua în care urma să mă auzi se apropia tot mai mult şi vedeam cum zilnic fisura aia devenea o crăpătură în toată regula şi ochii-mi luceau în cap de fericire, de fericire că urma să mă auzi, de fericire că urma să te salvez, de fericire că urma să salvez un suflet... Eu? Da, EU !
Şi-ntr-o zi am spart geamul, a căzut la pământ făcut ţăndări, vocea mea înfruntase şi învinsese un obstacol, iar efortul depus nu mai conta, căci răsplata era o imensă bucurie îmbătătoare.
Şi te-am întrebat: "Acum, auzi ce-ţi spun ?".
Iar tu mi-ai răspuns: "Unde am fost până acum ?".

Acasă

2011-01-24T10:45:00.000+02:00

Vreau un trai mai bun, dar am unul bun şi sunt nerecunoscătoare, când uit să fiu recunoscătoare pentru că m-am născut aici şi nu într-un loc sterp, sărac, bombardat, plin de boli...
De multe ori am zis "EU PLEC DE AICI !", probabil că la un moment dat o voi şi face, nu ştiu... dar e ciudat cum ACASĂ rămâne ACASĂ.
Şi când spun "acasă" nu e vorba de ceva material, fizic, nu e vorba de casa mea sau de patul meu, sau de oraşul meu, e vorba de oamenii cu care am trăit atâtea momente şi cu care încă trăiesc atâtea momente... probabil că astăzi sunt nostalgică... fără motiv precis.
Şi nu iubesc idei - ideea de patriotism, de naţiune, de constituţie - iubesc acest "leagăn" în care m-am născut şi deseori îl simt în piept, în plex, simt vibraţia acestui pământ de sub picioarele mele şi parcă-mi vorbeşte, parcă ne ştim de când lumea, parcă mi-e cel mai drag prieten.
Mi-e dor să stau întinsă pe iarbă, privind cerul, norii şi păsările în zbor... Mi-e dor de adierile de vânt cald de vară şi de soarele domol de la apus şi de liniştea aceea când timpul se opreşte şi eu devin o bulă de viaţă, parcă extrasă din întreg contextul cotidian, undeva deasupra tuturor lucrurilor, lumilor, oamenilor, ca şi cum două palme imaginare mă ţin în căuşul lor, iar eu pot să contemplez de acolo lumea, viaţa, viaţa-mi.

plans... plans... plans...

2011-01-18T09:41:00.000+02:00

Ever since the starting of the new year, I've been feeling a huge desire to be creative, but, for some reason, this creative energy feels kind of stuck or... I cannot find my whole energies in order to start something.
True, I go to dance classes and true, I make handmade jewels from time to time, and I paint or draw (which reminds me that I have a new blank canvas waiting for me)... and I go to gym (don't know how creative that is), but I have this "but" feeling inside, like "yeah, I know I do all these things, BUT I feel I should also do something else".
One would say "Oh, what great issues she has"... true, they are not big, and honestly, they are not even issues, I just wonder why this creative urge of mine is blocked or why I cannot find a way to let it out. I think too much, probably that is why.

Anyway... I'm planning to wander around the city with my camera and start taking and then posting some pics.
They're not going to be of a huge great quality, but I guess they'll be OK. Which reminds me... I need to buy a better camera.... someday soon. On many occasions I find nice things which are worth a shot. I was doing this two years ago... so I will go back to this - taking pictures around the city.

I also have a huge TO DO LIST and another huge list of books I need/want/have to read.
So let me know about your plans, folks !

Hugs

Promisiune - by Upanishada

2011-01-03T23:00:00.001+02:00

Copilo, ti-as da radacini,

ti-as da chiar si venin,

gheare, solzi si canini.

Copilo, ti-as da aripi,

nemurirea pasarii phoenix

si focul dragonilor.

Copilo, ti-as da mult soare,

multe bolte stelare,

universuri, galaxii,

de-as stii ca lacrimi

n-ai mai risipi.

Ia ploi, furtuna si vant !

Grindina sa-ti fie gand !

Suflarea, crivat pe pamant.

Doar sa te mai vad razand.

I love you!

2010-12-31T15:01:00.000+02:00

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again." - Benjamin Button - the movie

I close this year in this way. Somehow sad, somehow happy. Somehow bitter, somehow sweet.
Though I wish I could turn back the time, I know I can only move further.
It's gonna take some while and some effort. Words fail me now.
I loved with all my heart this year. I wish I didn't have to let go.
I wish we'll meet again, dear one of mine... someday...
I love you.

A fire ball

2010-12-24T20:30:00.000+02:00

A fire ball constantly turning back and forth, forth and back, growing its dimensions by itself, in orange, red and yellow colors, contemplating itself its beauty, its power, its exterior, its interior, its abilities, wondering if expansion is the only way to go... tempted to spread, scared to grow... despite all its inner force and desires.
A fire ball vibrating from its deepest core, waiting for the moment...
Asking itself if waterfalls can be climbed, if mountains can be conquered...
A fire ball asking for its right to burn, to burn in a beautiful dance, to extinct gracefully.

Times...

2010-12-19T18:42:00.000+02:00

Times when I realize how inner change is so much needed, but it involves so much effort, so much going back and forth... forgetting in order to remind myself, blaming in order to forgive myself on and on... and at times I feel like breaking down, while some times I feel like breaking through.
I know, nobody said was going to be easy and maybe it shouldn't be easy, but what's this, compared to other people's lives and problems? I know, comparison should not be done, but at times, only by comparing yourself to others, you can see what's best and what's bad in you...

Times when I look at people and wonder if they ask themselves... anything...
Times when people are too much for me, and I feel like escaping from here to somewhere else.
Times when I feel and see the magic, times when I feel that everything is just black and white.

În curs de citire

2010-12-14T19:25:00.000+02:00

Radu Cinamar - "Pergamentul Secret - Cinci Tehnici Iniţiatice Tibetane"

Cristina Pănculescu - "Taina Kogaionului - Muntele Sacru al Dacilor"

"Părintele Arsenie Boca - Mare Îndrumător de Suflete din Secolul XX" - Ed. Teognost

Lise Bourbeau - "Cele 5 răni care ne împiedică să fim noi înşine"

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